Rise of the Phoenix
by Miss Geoffery Chaucer
Summary: Years ago Rukia was forced to end Shiba Kaien's life. When he suddenly and inexplicably returns, Rukia must finally face her feelings. Rukia/Kaien First chapter's not great...it gets better.
1. Prologue

Quite obviously, I own nothing.  
Much to my chagrin. ;)

Reviews (constructive and/or flattering!) are much appreciated!

Most likely spoilers will abound.

*************************

Her heart was pounding wildly, setting a pace she had never before known, as if it meant to break free of her chest. Time seemed to simultaneously slow down and accelerate with each frantic beat. She did not know which she preferred - to live in this moment forever and savor every touch and sensation or to rush ahead to that for which she had waited so patiently, for that which her body and soul so desperately burned. Her kimono slipped down, exposing the graceful curve of her neck and pale skin of her shoulders. One delicate white hand held the front closed at her chest, albeit loosely, while the other found its way to the back of her lover's neck, fingers burying themselves in hair as dark as the starless night sky overhead and as wild and spiky as the grass at their feet. She felt his lips make their way gently along the bare skin of her collarbone, a shiver going through her body. _This is right; this is how it should be._

"Kaien," she whispered. He raised his head, midnight eyes meeting violet, searching. She knew what Kaien-dono would see: passion and desire mixed with an intense love. And beneath all of that she knew he would also sense the desperate need emanating from her being; a need so raw she could do nothing to hide it.

"Rukia," he whispered her name in return. She could see reflected in his eyes the same passion and desire she was feeling, his need for her shining just as brightly. What made her catch her breath, however, was the love she could feel radiating from the very core of Kaien's being, a love so pure and strong that it brought tears to her eyes. A single tear escaped each violet eye leaving twin trails down her cheeks that shone in the moonlight.

This smile that touched Kaien's lips was warm and genuine. "Don't cry, Rukia." He took her face in his hands and used the pads of his thumbs to gently wipe away the tears from beneath her eyes. Rukia could not help but smile radiantly up at Kaien. As he bent down to press his lips to her own, Rukia's hand fell away from her kimono, allowing it to fall to the ground. She reached up and wrapped her arms around Kaien's neck, pulling his body close against her own. Her lips parted as the kiss deepened, allowing Kaien's tongue entrance. Kaien released her face and placed his hands gently on Rukia's shoulders before sliding them slowly down the sides of her body, feeling her breath hitch as he grazed the sides of her breasts. He let his hands come to rest on her hips, holding her against him.

Without breaking their kiss, Kaien gently lowered himself to his knees, bringing Rukia with him until they were both kneeling in the soft grass. When their lips finally parted, Rukia gazed up at Kaien's face. Dropping her eyes, she hesitantly placed her hands on his chest, exploring the feel of hard muscle beneath the soft kimono, a shy smile playing across her lips. She continued lower, tracing the lines of his well-defined abdominals. Again, she met his eyes as her hands settled on the sash at his waist. Kaien's smile was encouraging; it told her that this was okay. She tugged lightly on the white sash until the folds on the kimono covering his chest fell slightly open. She inhaled nervously. Several times throughout the years had she seen Kaien's bare chest, but never under such intimate circumstances.

Breathing shakily, Rukia slid her hands up Kaien's chest again, this time allowing her fingers to part his kimono to touch bare skin. It was Kaien's breath that hitched now, becoming quick and shallow at the touch of her hands, his muscles tightening reflexively. His response made Rukia smile and gave her confidence. Glancing up through her lashes to look at his face, she could see his eyes had fallen closed. She continued to move her hands up Kaien's chest to his shoulders, sliding the kimono off. It fell to the ground with a soft rustle. Raising his arms to Rukia's shoulders, Kaien ran his hands along her soft skin until he reached her wrists, which he gently grasped. Rukia's heart was going wild. Kaien leaned forward and captured her mouth in a kiss that started off soft and sweet. Gradually the need behind the kiss intensified. It would have been enough to frighten Rukia if her own need had not matched it.

_I love you, Shiba Kaien._

Suddenly, the kiss turned possessive, and not in a fashion that Rukia could appreciate. It became demanding, almost painful. She tried to pull away, but Kaien's grip on her wrists tightened as he attempted to still her. Struggling, Rukia finally broke free of the kiss. What she saw caused her previously pounding heart to freeze. Violet eyes widened and skin turned cold as ice.

The man before her was no longer Kaien. It had Kaien's face, but a distorted version. None of the features were quite right. The eyes were distant and the smile was cold and calculating.

"What's wrong, _Kuchiki_? I thought this was what you wanted. I thought you loved me!" The voice, like the face, was a twisted mockery of Kaien's soft tones. It was mocking and filled with venom.

Tears streamed down Rukia's face as she screamed at the monster before her. "Aaroniero Arruruerie!"

The Kaien-thing smiled with delight, its eyes lighting up. "You remember! How delightful!" Laughing maniacally, it raised itself slowly into a crouch, ready to attack at the slightest hint of provocation.

Rukia glanced around frantically. Where were they? All around her was barren desert. _Hueco Mundo_ she thought desperately. Just a moment ago they had been in Seireitei, kneeling in soft grass beneath the night sky. How had they gotten here?! He looked around desperately for some sort of weapon. _Sode no Shirayuki_ was no where in sight. She would never be able to use kido; Aaroniero would know instantly what she was doing and counterattack. It was over then; there was nothing she could do. She closed her eyes as Aaroniero shrieked with joy and lunged towards her.


	2. New Arrival

**A/N**

I own nothing nor am I receiving any compensation for this story (which, I suspect, is a good thing...).  
I suppose spoilers abound..I don't read the manga but I am up to episode 212 or something like that in the anime. I use the japanese words and honorifics that I do because they are so very common in the japanese anime that the ones I use just seem natural to me.

Reviews make me endlessly happy and constructive criticism is okay, too! If you read it and like it, let me know! :)

Nii-sama: Older brother, respectfully. How Rukia refers to Byakuya  
-dono: Japanese honorific referring to someone you have great respect for. Rukia uses it in regards to Kaien (obviously)  
baka - Fool/idiot  
Kuso: general Japanese curse word  
kudasai: please

************************

Dark. Everything was dark. Rukia tentatively opened her eyes and looked around, trying to discern from her surroundings where she was, the frantic shriek still lingering on her lips. Although minimal light filtered through the lone window, it was enough for her to realize, with some surprise, that she was in her own room. Her small body was entangled in a thin sheet and covered with sweat. A warm breeze rolled in, ruffling the gauzy curtains.

Confusion swept through her. Why was she surprised to be in her own room? What had awakened her so harshly? Why was her heart pounding so violently and her body covered in a fine sheen of sweat?

Then she remembered the dream. No...nightmare. Or had it been something more than even that?

_Kaien-dono_. She hadn't allowed herself to think of him since.....since that fateful day in Hueco Mundo when she'd faced the most frightful of all arrancar, at least for her, _Aaroniero Arruruerie_. He struck fear in her heart more than any other hollow or arrancar she'd ever faced for one reason alone: his face was that of the man she'd loved...loved and had been forced to kill: _Kaien-dono_. He'd attempted to use Kaien's face to manipulate her emotions and guide her actions. Even after coming to terms with the fact that no part of Kaien remained except for his memories, it had taken all of Rukia's resolve and strength just to fight Aaroniero. In the end she had been victorious, but the victory was a bittersweet one and had come nearly at the cost of her own life.

Shuddering, Rukia shoved those memories away. It was bad enough that she was haunted by hollows in her dreams..._that_ she had come to terms with decades ago as an unfortunate work hazard. But never before had Kaien haunted her slumber; that was something new. Rukia had a feeling that the flood-gates had been opened; now that she'd dreamt of Kaien once, it was likely to become a regular occurrence. She hadn't necessarily minded the first part of the dream. The only drawback to dreams like that were, obviously, waking up. Although each new dream would mean a new reunion with her lost _senpai_ and secret love of her heart, it would also mean a new loss upon each awakening. Could she stand to begin each new day with such desperation and heartache?

Head dropping with a sigh, Rukia knew the truth. She would take anything she could get when it came to Kaien-dono. Although the pain she felt right at the moment seemed more than unbearable, it was nothing compared to the joy and ecstasy she'd felt minutes before when she'd been in Kaien's arms, finally feeling her love requited. Yes, she would certainly be able to withstand painful mornings if it meant beautiful nights.

Still....there had been something different about this particular dream. It had felt more... real than any she had ever before experienced. Had it been something more than just a dream? Another shudder traveled down Rukia's spine as she recalled in vivid detail the end of her dream; the terror and extreme helplessness she'd felt were unlike anything she'd ever known.

Wrapping the thin sheet loosely around her slender frame, Rukia rose from her bed. She headed out of the small room and made a lazy path to the kitchen, guided only by the pale moonlight that seeped in through the open windows. It had been nearly a year since her return to Seretei. To say the war was over would be an optimistic illusion. Although they had somehow managed to prevent Aizen and Gin from using the hogyoku in Hueco Mundo, all three were still missing. And though no threats had yet been issued, no one in Seretei had completely let down their guard.

Ichigo remained in the real world, spending his nights patrolling the streets of Karakura Town and his days either training or goofing off with Urahara Kisuke and Renji, who had been granted extended leave in Karakura Town during these tense, uncertain months. The raven haired shinigami suspected that Renji's extended leave had more to do with Soul Society's stubborn hopes of convincing Ichigo to join the Gotei 13 than anything else. Yamamoto-Genryusai was more than willing to overlook Ichigo's rebelliousness and less-than favorable attitude towards authority in his desparation to both reunite and strengthen the Gotei 13.

Smiling wistfully at the thought of her friends back in Karakura Town, Rukia grabbed an apple from a bowl sitting on the low table. She vaguely wondered what they were up to on a night like this as she bit into the shiny red flesh of the apple, the sweet juices infusing her mouth. _Probably sitting on a rooftop somewhere in their shinigami forms, complaining about a lack of hollows to fight before one of them provokes the other and starts a fight of their own out of sheer boredom or pent up tension or both._ Rukia smiled again, this time affectionately, as she answered her own question. _Bakas._

Since returning to Seretei, Rukia had come to live at the only place that made sense: with Nii-sama. Although large and almost too spacious, the house was familiar and comfortable to her, something she felt she needed after the tumultuous years that had recently passed. The small shinigami missed Karakura Town and her friends immensely, but had been somewhat relieved that her current orders were to remain in Seretei with her squad.

Without intention, her midnight walk had brought her to the front door. Rukia slowly pushed it open and stepped outside, barefoot, onto the large porch, careful to close the door behind her. Nii-sama would be more than a little irritated if he awoke to bugs in his house. She took another bite of the apple and allowed the sheet to fall from her shoulders, pooling around her ankles. There was no need for such coverage when it was such a warm night; a gentle summer breeze stirred the hem of her cotton shift. Several shades paler than her violet eyes, the soft garment was all she needed on night like this.

Rukia stepped forward, away from the already forgotten sheet, and sat down on the edge of the porch, her thoughts turning back to what had awakened her in the first place. Could it possibly have been more than a dream? She had certainly never heard of someone being attacked via dreams before. And she hadn't been hurt, had she? No, there had been no physical damage to her body. The only effect the dream had had on her was psychological. A psychological attack, then? Was someone or something trying to mess with her?

_No. That's ridiculous! What reason would someone have to come after _me_?!_ It didn't make any sense. No matter how real or disturbing the dream had been, it had been just that: _a dream_. The product of an overworked, over-emotional imagination. Period. End of story.

Sighing, Rukia looked up at the night sky, picking out her favorite constellations. As a child fending for herself on the streets of Rukongai, midnight star gazing had never failed to bring her peace and comfort. It was lost in these memories and this seemingly serene moment that Rukia somehow did not notice the nostalgic reiatsu approaching until it was right behind her. When she did notice it, she sat bolt upright, the remnants of her apple dropping to the ground and rolling away in the grass. An icy chill swept down her spine.

"Rukia..."

The voice was strained but recognizable. Rukia did not have to turn around to know that the eyes boring into her back were those of Shiba Kaien. _Impossible! I killed Aaroniero with my own hands! How can he be here, now?! _Why_ is he here now?_ Rukia kept her body very still while her mind raced. Like in her dream, she found she was once again without Sode no Shirayuki. _Kuso!_ She cursed herself internally for her negligence. Wandering about sans zanpakuto in these times was ignorant, even when things seemed so peaceful and quiet. Using kido would be her only chance; perhaps she could stun Aaroniero just enough to get into the house where she could both rouse Nii-sama and grab her zanpakuto. It was her only hope. She mentally prepared herself to face Kaien's face knowing she would have to ruthlessly attack it. _It's NOT Kaien-dono!_

Rukia simultaneously jumped to her feet and whirled around to face Aaroniero, hands raised before her. The incantation for White Lightening never escaped her lips.

It was as she had feared...only...slightly different. The man before her did indeed have Kaien's face. This man, however, was crouched down on the porch, not offensively ready to attack but defensively, as if desperate to protect himself. He looked battered and bruised and his eyes were those of a man whose resolve had long been broken; he looked lost. In addition to all of this, Rukia noticed horrified, he was also naked.

"_Kudasai_...._Rukia_..." An unsteady hand reached pleadingly towards Rukia. She was frozen in place, violet eyes impossibly wide. Her instinct was to run to Kaien and comfort him but she knew better than to act rashly.

_Is this really Kaien-dono?! I don't sense any trace of Aaroniero's reiatsu...could he be that good at hiding it?! I have to be strong...I have to remain rational and logical! How _could_ this be Kaien-dono?! It's impossible...but....those eyes...._

Before she could come to any conclusions, a sound behind them made both Rukia and Kaien jump. Rukia's head whipped around to see the front door open and Nii-sama standing in the door-way, the bed-sheet she had dropped earlier in his outstretched hand.

"Here." His voice and eyes were both emotionless as he took in the scene before him. "Cover him up and bring him inside."

Rukia grabbed the sheet before he dropped it. "Nii-sama..."

Byakuya's back was already turned as he prepared to disappear back into the house. He paused and inclined his head back towards Rukia.

"Is he...I mean, is it okay to..."

"Bring him inside," he repeated. "There's tea on the stove. The room at the end of the hall is prepared for guests; he can stay there for now."

_Dose Nii-sama believe this is really Kaien-dono? Or is he just forcing him inside so he can keep a close eye on him?_

Although her brother's intentions were not clear to her, there was no doubt in Rukia's mind that if this man with Kaien's face tried anything, Nii-sama would not hesitate to kill him.


	3. Explanations

Sorry for the slow update! I was on vacation for a week and got ENGAGED! And when I got back I had to work 7 days in a row! Busy, Busy!  
So here is your next installment in the saga that is Rukia and Kaien! I do hope you enjoy. Please give me some feedback if you read this! Flattery is ALWAYS appreciated but CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is good as well! And feel free to give me ideas..I may just use them!

I own NOTHING. Credit goes to Tite Kubo (is that right?) for creating the wonderous world that is Bleach!  
There are, as usual, spoilers. This chapter is particularly LOADED with them. So if you don't know Kaien's history and don't want to know yet, you might not want to read.

**  
Definitions:**  
Domo-arigato: Thank you (formal)  
Dou itashi mashite: You're welcome (formal)  
Taicho/fukutaicho: Captain/Vice Captain  
Nejibana: Kaien's zanpakuto(sword)  
Matte: Wait, stop  
Metastacia: Hollow that killed Kaien

***************************************************

Mind racing and eyes wide, Rukia turned back towards Kaien. He had remained crouched on the far side of the porch, his charcoal eyes downcast. She reached out a tentative hand to offer him the sheet. When he made no more to take the simple cloth from her, Rukia closed the distance between them slowly and wrapped the sheet around his trembling body, careful not to touch him directly. Turning his head away from her, Kaien raised one hand to hold the ends of the sheet together around his shoulders.

"Domo-arigato." His words were so hushed that Rukia almost didn't hear them.

"Dou itashi mashite." It was strange for her to hear Kaien speak so formally. Without thinking, Rukia had responded in a similar fashion.

Placing her hands gently on Kaien's shoulders, she helped her former fukutaicho to his feet. A glint of something silver on the ground caught Rukia's attention. A quick glance down caused her violet eyes to widen again, a sharp gasp escaping her lips. She looked up at Kaien and saw he'd not even noticed her reaction nor did he seem interested in what had startled her. His demeanor remained unchanged: shoulders slumped and eyes averted, staring blankly at the ground.

She looked back down. _Nejibana_, Kaien's zanpakuto, lay at their feet. Rukia hadn't even realized that he'd had it. For all the notice he took of Nejibana on the ground, Kaien himself either did not know it was there or simply did not care. Quietly bending down, she picked up his forgotten zanpakuto and led Kaien into the Kuchiki household.

Inside on the kitchen table Rukia found a fresh set of clothes presumably for Kaien: clean black hakama with matching black kimono. _Nii-sama must have left these out for Kaien_. The clothes would likely be just a little too short for him, but the bagginess would account for that. At any rate, it was better than nothing.

Rukia showed Kaien to the bathroom so that he could clean up and get dressed. As she began to pull the door closed, she thought she heard him say something.

"Kaien-dono...d-did you say something?"

"_Matte._Don't leave, Rukia."

Her eyes immediately dropped to the bathroom floor, a deep scarlet spreading quickly across her cheeks.

"Kaien! I can't-"

"_Kudasai, _Rukia." His pleading eyes told her that she couldn't leave him.

Whether or not this man was Kaien, Rukia sensed that he wasn't dangerous. At the very least she was certain by now that he was not Aaroniero. Several times already, this man had had the opportunity to end her life. This rang especially true now that Rukia knew he'd had Nejibana at his side the entire time they'd been outside. Never once had she seen the intent to kill in his eyes nor felt any flare in his reiatsu. Everything about this man screamed Kaien, albeit a very broken and confused Kaien.

"H-hai." Stepping inside the bathroom, Rukia gently closed the door behind her. She could not imagine the humiliation Kaien must be feeling but she could certainly sense it emanating from his being. He obviously needed her help both in cleaning himself and getting dressed; asking for that help from anyone, let alone someone who was once a subordinate, surely would be a blow to his pride. Not to mention the fact that he had shown up without any clothes on to begin with. Rukia didn't know how it was possible that Kaien was here, but with every passing moment she became more and more convinced that this _was_ Kaien. She could feel it in her heart...in her soul...

She turned on the faucet and began to draw a warm bath. As steam slowly filled the small room, Rukia turned to look at the man she'd loved so many years ago. He was looking back at her, watching her every move with oh-so-familiar grayish-green eyes. She thought she saw a spark of life in those eyes for the tiniest fraction of a second just then...something resembling the faintest hint of interest and curiosity. It was gone before she could analyze it. One thing she was certain of: there was absolutely no malice in those eyes.

_You really are Kaien, aren't you? I can feel it...I can feel you. But what are you doing here? How is this possible? And what happened to you to break your spirit so badly? Do you even know? Do you even remember...?_

When Rukia lowered her eyes, Kaien stepped towards the now-filled bath-tub. He let the bed-sheet fall away from his tall frame and gingerly lowered himself into the steamy water. Rukia picked up a wash cloth and kneeled beside the bath-tub, dipping the cloth into the water. When she looked up, charcoal eyes met her own. Although still clouded with confusion, his eyes no longer held a sense of "lost."

As she began to gently wipe the dirt off of Kaien's face, Rukia sensed a subtle change in his reiatsu. She felt a wave of comfort and trust roll over her. And something else...was it...love? With an inaudible gasp, she realized that these were the feelings Kaien was having towards her. Certainly it wasn't the kind of love she felt for him... She was most likely mistaken....it must be gratitude she was feeling. That was it.

"Rukia..."

"Shh, Kaien-dono. Whatever it is, it can wait."

In silence, Rukia cleansed Kaien of the dirt that soiled his body and the worry and tension that troubled his mind. She rubbed the soft, soapy cloth gently across his chest and shoulders. As she allowed warm water to trickle down his arm, a dark tattoo became visible through the dirt: the Shiba family crest. Carefully, almost reverently, Rukia ran her fingers slowly over the dark ink. It was nearly too much for her to handle.

Taking a deep and shaky breath, she lathered her hands with more soap and began running her fingers through Kaien's dark, spiky hair. His eyes closed and his head fell forward gently as she tenderly massaged his scalp. She could no longer ignore the quiet buzz that seemed to fill the room...it felt electric, causing the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck to stand up. As Rukia entangled her fingers in midnight black hair, she could not suppress a shudder than ran down her spine. Kaien seemed to sense it, opening his eyes to look deep into her own. His gaze was so piercing that it sent another shiver through her body.

"Rukia...." His voice was huskier now, and when he said her name this time there was an undercurrent of something to it. It was definitely not confusion.

Her hands slid down to the back of his neck coming to rest nestled in the hair there. It was only then that she realized how close their faces had come to one another; she could feel Kaien's breath on her cheek. He leaned forward slightly until his lips were nearly touching Rukia's own, which were parted in both her nervousness and her desire. With the exception of her dream only hours previously, she had never been in such an intimate position with Kaien.

All she had to do was lean forward...just a tiny bit...and their lips would finally meet...

Suddenly, she jumped up and backed away from the bath-tub, startling Kaien whose eyes opened wide as he looked up at her. She thought she saw hurt in those beautiful eyes and it killed her inside to know she was the cause of it. She wanted to run over to him and throw her arms around him, capturing his lips with her own, finally showing him how she'd felt for so many, many decades. She wanted to tell him how much she'd missed him, how her heart felt like it would burst now that he was back, how her soul suddenly felt _complete_ in a way that she couldn't describe.

But she couldn't. She stood frozen, her back against the wall. This was _Kaien-dono_! She couldn't just kiss him. And when he was in such a state? She was horrified at what she'd almost done. On top of all the other reasons she could think of that made it wrong, she felt like it would be taking advantage of Kaien to kiss him now, when he was so confused and lost. _Baka! You don't even know for _sure_ if it's him! What if it's a trap?_ But she knew in her heart this was no trap. This was simply Kaien-dono. He was confused and misreading his own feelings of gratitude as something else...something more. Wherever he had been all these years had obviously not been a pleasant place. He was probably just so overwhelmed at seeing familiar faces that he didn't even know how to react to things, such as someone taking care of him.

He was still looking at her with those hurt-filled eyes.

"Here," she said, looking away and holding out a towel. He reached out and gingerly took it from her. She cleared her throat. "I'll go and pour us some tea."

"Domo, Rukia..." His words were barely a whisper.

She quickly exited the bathroom and made her way back to the kitchen, breathing hard. She tried to calm herself as she poured two cups of tea and put them on the table along with a small plate containing Pocky. The thin, chocolate dipped pretzel sticks were a favorite treat of Nii-sama and were therefore the most abundant snack to be found in the cupboards. Trying to calm both her nerves and her breathing, Rukia kneeled down on one of the small cushions surrounding the table, sitting on her crossed ankles.

Minutes later, when Kaien stepped out of the bathroom, he looked shockingly like his old self. Seeing him in his usual uniform of black hakama and kimono, Rukia suddenly remembered that she was only wearing a simple cotton shift. Instantly self-conscious, she made a move to get up to put on more appropriate clothing. Kaien must have sensed her intentions. He placed a hand gently on her shoulder, stilling any further movement.

"It's okay, Rukia, please don't be embarrassed. You look...nice. The violet...it matches your eyes." His voice was halting and his smile hesitant; a mixture of shyness and reservation. And although his comment caused the blush on her cheeks to deepen, it warmed Rukia's heart at the same time.

"Thank you..." her voice trailed off as Kaien's charcoal eyes studied her with open curiosity. His eyes continued to hold hers as he lowered himself onto a cushion across the table from Rukia. Unable to look away, she raised her cup and took a sip of tea. Seeming to take this as his cue, Kaien did the same. The air was thick with nervous tension and unspoken thoughts.

For several minutes the two simply sat in silence, sipping tea and staring at each other. It was as if they were studying one another, waiting for the other to make the first move, speak the first words. Rukia felt she should say something but words would not come. There was so much to say, so much she wanted to ask this man sitting before her but she had no idea where to begin. She was also overcome with a deep sorrow. Seeing Kaien had forced her to once again relive that awful night so many, many years ago. She could see very clearly in her mind the look on Kaien's face as her zanpakuto pierced his heart, the unbelievable words of gratitude and apology that were his last. Did he remember that it had be she who had ended his life all those years ago? Could he ever forgive her? Was he here for revenge?

"Kaien-dono," she began tentatively. "How are you here? Where have you been all these years?"

It was with a deep sigh that Kaien responded. "I don't know." His eyes dropped to his tea as he absentmindedly reached for one of the thin chocolate-covered pretzels. He put the snack in his mouth and chewed slowly, contemplatively, carefully thinking over his next words. Rukia remained silent, watching his features as he struggled with what he wanted to say. When it seemed he was completely at a loss, she spoke.

"Why don't you start with the last thing you do remember."

"It seems like so long ago..." With a shy smile he amended his statement. "It probably _was_ a long time ago. I remember being here, in Seretei. There was a terrible hollow, worse than any we had seen in awhile. _Metastacia_." His eyes darkened at the memory and his voice became thick with grief. "It killed my wife, Miyako. I swore that I would get revenge and destroy Metastacia. We found its lair and I requested to fight the hollow alone, a request which Ukitake-Taicho reluctantly granted. I remember fighting Metastacia for what felt like an eternity and then...."

Rukia did not even realize she'd been holding her breath until that moment. She let it out slowly, quietly. This was the part she feared the most. Would Kaien remember and resent her? Although suddenly intimidated, she could not take her eyes away from his. She watched a sea of emotions play across Kaien's face as memories washed over him. Rukia was beginning to think she could take no more when he finally broke the silence.

"Oh, Rukia," he whispered, his eyes bright with unshed tears and understanding. He reached a hand out towards her and brushed the single black bang from her face, tucking it gently behind her ear. He ran his fingertips along her fine cheekbone, the touch as soft as a butterfly's wing against her skin. Where his skin made contact with hers, Rukia felt an almost electric jolt. It was not at all unpleasant.

"Rukia, it's not your fault." His words were as soft as his touch. It was as if he could read her thoughts. "I don't blame you, not at all... Rukia, you did what you had to do!"

"I wanted to help you, Kaien!" Rukia couldn't help her outburst. She met his eyes as her words spilled forth fervently. "I wanted so badly to fight at your side but Ukitake-Taicho would not let me! He said you were fighting for your pride..." Her voice faded as she recalled Ukitake-Taicho's words that fateful day:

_Rukia, remember this. There are two types of fights. Whenever we are in battle, we must be fighting one of the two. The fight for life or…the fight for pride! Right now…he is fighting for his pride! His wife's pride…his men's pride… Most importantly…his own personal pride. Dismiss this as his stubbornness…and let him fight alone like this…_

It had nearly killed her to watch Kaien fight what she knew would inevitably become a losing battle. But she did not dare to go against her taicho. Deep down, the raven-haired shinigami knew the truth in his words, knew that intruding on Kaien's fight with Metastacia would only serve to frustrate and distract him. And so she had watched in horror....watched as Kaien became weak from fighting....watched as the hollow maliciously merged itself with Kaien, overpowering his spirit and taking possession of his body. When Metastacia used Kaien's body to attack them, Ukitaki-Taicho had told Rukia to run and she hesitated only momentarily.

Rukia's own memory of what had happened next seemed fragmented. She remembered Ukitake-Taicho telling her to run. She had complied, but returned only minutes later, ashamed of running and wanting to help her taicho. She remembered her fear and hatred of the hollow who had taken over Kaien's body and her immense grief at Kaien's defeat. She'd had no time to think when Kaien turned and leaped towards her. Only, this..._thing_... was no longer Kaien but a sick and twisted mockery of the man she loved, eyes glowing orange and a menacing grin playing across his once beautiful lips.

Without thinking, she had raised Sode no Shirayuki. Metastacia was impaled through the heart. Although she had saved her life and the life of Ukitaki-Taicho, Rukia felt little happiness in the victory. Trembling, she had raised her eyes to meet Kaien's, not knowing what she would find. His face had returned to normal, except for the little trickle of blood that slowly flowed from the corner of his mouth. And although his eyes were once again a beautiful and unique shade of greenish-gray, their vibrancy was fading fast.

With his dying words, Kaien had thanked Ukitake-Taicho for letting him fight alone. Then, he leaned his head on Rukia's shoulder, bringing both arms up to embrace her, and whispered his gratitude into her ear. Rukia wrapped her free arm around Kaien, holding him tight against her as he, with his last breath, whispered an apology.

Coming out of her dark memories, Rukia's hands formed into tiny fists in her lap. She did not know when she had started crying but tears were streaming freely down her cheeks. Kaien wiped them away with the pad of his thumb.

"I wanted to help you." She felt compelled to repeat the words, as if in repetition they could somehow change the past. "I wanted to help you..." Her voice fell to a whisper as tears continued to flow unchecked from downcast violet eyes.

"It's okay, Rukia-chan. Please don't cry. I meant what I said to you that day. I don't remember the minutes when my body was under possession, but I remember the moment of my...my death. I never resented you for what you did; you had no other choice. I was grateful for your strength." He paused only briefly. "And I am truly sorry for what I put you through...for what you were forced to do."

Again, the pair sat in silence, just looking at each other. Kaien continued to caress Rukia's cheek until eventually her tears stopped. He let his hand linger on her skin for another minute before allowing it to slowly drop to his side. Rukia grabbed a napkin off the table and self-consciously wiped her tear-stained face.

Apparently wanting to change the subject and ease Rukia's pain, Kaien eventually continued. "That's all I can really remember. The next thing I knew, I woke up in the middle of a large field with no clothes. I had no possession with me other than Nejibana. Actually, when I awoke I didn't even have my memories. I didn't know who I was."

Rukia looked at him in disbelief. _He just woke up in a large field? He didn't even know who he was?_

"Not knowing what else to do, I picked up Nejibana - not really knowing what it was at the time, only that it must be mine - and began walking. As the days went by, my memory came back slowly, piece by piece. I still have no memory of where I went when I died or how I ended up where I was when I woke up. I don't even know how long it's been since I...died." He paused, reflecting on his recent journey.

"And then I saw your face, Rukia." These words caused a blush to once again creep across Rukia's cheeks.

"What? I don't understand."

"In my mind, I saw your face. It was like a beacon to me, a shining star that I followed day and night. I knew that I had to find you, that if I could just get to you things would somehow make sense again. Do you remember what I told you about the heart and about dying, Rukia? When you die, your heart remains with whoever was with you. That's why you should never die alone. When I died, my heart remained with you, Rukia. That's why I needed so badly to get back to you. That's my theory, anyway." His voice was very quiet as he admitted this.

"Oh." It seemed entirely inadequate but it was all she could manage. She could feel the burn not only in her cheeks but also on the tops of her ears now.

Kaien continued. "And so I walked, day and night. I slept on the ground and I ate whatever vegetation appeared to be edible. I don't know how long I journeyed to find you, Rukia. I searched for your reiatsu but it was useless; I couldn't feel you anywhere, no matter how intently I focused. I couldn't feel anyone's reiatsu for that matter. I had no clue as to where I was and that damn field seemed to go on forever! For awhile, I began to think I wasn't even in Seretei but rather some sort of shinigami Hell."

Rukia stared into Kaien's hazy eyes, transfixed by his words. In her fear and then excitement to see Kaien again she hadn't even noticed how gaunt he looked. Who knew how long it'd been since he'd had anything decent to eat? She felt the urge to get up and get some real food but at the same time she was held hostage by his story.

"I felt certain I would never find you, that I was cursed to wander for eternity in my own personal Hell. I began to lose hope and was just about to give up. But then, finally, I could feel your reiatsu! It was so faint...but it was something!" Kaien sounded excited, life returning to his voice. "So I followed it and eventually I found myself in Seretei. The familiarity and nostalgia of it all literally brought me to my knees. I was _home_." His eyes had drifted closed and a faint smile played at the corner of his lips. "I could feel your reiatsu so strong at that point. I was on the brink of exhaustion but I wasn't about to stop now that I was so close..."

"So you quit sleeping..." That, at least, explained Kaien's ragged and exhausted appearance on her porch hours ago.

It was Kaien's turn to blush crimson. "So I quit sleeping," he confirmed. "I became obsessed with a singular goal...finding you. It gave me a reason to keep moving, to not give up. And now that I'm here...I feel....content." His eyes had dropped to his now-cold cup of tea.

Rukia reached out tentatively and covered Kaien's large hand with her own smaller one. He raised his eyes and met her soft yet piercing gaze. It was her turn once again to comfort him.

"It's okay, Kaien. Everything's going to be alright now. You're back, and you can stay here for as long as you need to...for as long as you like. But I think right now you need to get some sleep. Here-" she shoved the plate of small chocolate covered pretzels into Kaien's hands, "-take these with you! You need _something_ to eat. And tomorrow we'll figure everything out. Okay?"

The small shinigami had risen to her feet and Kaien followed her lead. Instead of following her, however, he set the plate down and pulled Rukia tightly against his chest. Although momentarily stunned by his show of affection, she didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around Kaien's waist and return the gesture, pressing her cheek to the much-taller shinigami's chest. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"Domo, Rukia. For everything."

"Arigato, Kaien."

Kaien reluctantly released his hold on Rukia and retrieved the plate of pretzels from the table with a shy smile. "I am pretty hungry." Rukia promptly raided the cupboards and loaded Kaien's arms with all the snacks she could find, making him laugh his old familiar laugh. "Always taking care of me!"

She returned his shy smile and showed him to the guest room at the end of the hall. It was close to her own room, separated only by the bathroom.

As she settled back into her own bed that night Rukia's mind was alive with thoughts. She knew she should send a Hell-butterfly to Ukitake-Taicho to let him know of Kaien's miraculous yet inexplicable return. But she did not want to disturb him at this hour nor did she want a formal investigation just yet. Although she was fairly certain Ukitake-Taicho would handle the situation with the utmost discretion, there was also the chance that he would be suspicious of the news and contact Yamamoto-Genryusai immediately. She wanted to give Kaien an opportunity to rest first if that were the case.

Rukia knew in her heart that the man she had just spent the last several hours with was in fact Shiba Kaien. There was not a trace of doubt in her mind. She knew that she could convince Ukitake-Taicho of this if she could only get him to meet with Kaien in person first. Yes, she decided, the Hell-butterfly can wait.

Her thoughts inevitably turned to Kaien. Thinking about all he'd gone through made her heart ache in a way she'd experienced only once before - when Kaien had died. And what did he mean when he'd said that getting to her had been his only goal, his beacon of hope? Was that because he had died in her presence? Or was it something more, something deeper?

She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she tried to force her body into sleep. Kaien was back. How, she didn't know. And for the moment, she didn't care.


	4. Revelations

**A/N:** Sorry it's been awhile! Classes are starting soon for me, so updates will be whenever I find some free time away from studying/work.  
Let me know what you think! :)

Ohayou: Good morning  
Onii-san: Older brother

-----------------------------------

Rukia awoke the following morning with a smile on her face and feeling completely rejuvenated. She had spent the last few hours in a deep, dreamless sleep wonderfully devoid of hollows. Hardly able to believe the events of the previous night had really happened, Rukia felt an intense desire to see Kaien. Stretching, she slowly got out of bed and gathered a fresh set of clothes before heading towards the bathroom for a morning shower. She had no intentions of facing Kaien again dressed as inappropriately as she had been the night before.

A short time later, Rukia stood in front of the mirror, running a comb through her raven hair one last time. She ran a hand along her black robes to smooth the fabric, straightened her back and squared her shoulders. She looked professional, like a member of 13th division should look. However, she felt anything but professional. She felt nervous and excited, impatient and hesitant. From just down the hall, she could feel the gentle pulse of Kaien's reiatsu. _He must still be sleeping_. Rukia tightened the sash around her waist, put Sode no Shirayuki in its proper place, and headed out of her room towards the kitchen.

It was as she walked down the hallway that Rukia first noticed the hushed voices coming from outside the front door. It was also then that she felt the distinct reiatsu of her captain, Ukitake-Taicho, mixed in with that of her brother. _Nii-sama must have sent a Hell butterfly this morning while I was still sleeping! Kuso!_

Attempting to still the on-coming panic building in her chest, Rukia tried to think the situation through logically. It made sense that Nii-sama would contact somebody about Kaien's return, that was the responsible thing to do. Closing her eyes, Rukia stretched her senses out to their limits. As far as she could tell, there were no other Shinigami nearby. That was good....that likely meant that Yamamoto-Genryusai had not yet been notified. If he had, she could only imagine he would be there personally. At the very least, he would have sent additional reinforcements.

She took it as another good sign that Ukitake-Taicho and Nii-Sama chose to speak quietly outside while Kaien and Rukia had been sleeping practically next door to one another. Surely, if either man held the slightest suspicion that Kaien was a threat, they would have either gotten Rukia out of the house or removed Kaien before she had awoken.

Quietly, the small Shinigami made her way over to the door, trying to hear the conversation outside.

"Do you really believe this man to be Shiba Kaien, Byakuya?" That soft voice undoubtedly belonged to Ukitake-Taicho.

"I do. Although his presence is inexplicable, I believe it to be so." That dry, unemotional voice was clearly Nii-sama. "I have seen nothing to lead me to believe that the man who came here last night is either dangerous or an imposter."

"I see. I appreciate you contacting me so quickly-"

There was a pause in the conversation that seemed slightly unnatural. Rukia pressed closer to the door then jumped as Nii-sama spoke again, his voice louder than before.

"Come out here, Rukia."

Blushing furiously at being caught eavesdropping, Rukia immediately pushed the door open and joined the two men on the front porch, closing the door behind her.

"Ohayou Ukitake-Taicho, Nii-sama!" Rukia bowed her head slightly towards both men respectively.

"Ohayou, Rukia!" Her captain smiled warmly at her while Nii-sama simply nodded an acknowledgement.

"I hear you and Byakyua-san had a visitor arrive last night."

"H-hai..." Rukia looked from Ukitake-Taicho to Nii-sama, hoping for some indication as to what the two Shinigami were thinking.

"It's okay, Rukia." Ukitake obviously sensed Rukia's trepidation. "Byakyua-san sent a Hell-butterfly last night alerting me of the situation. He informed me that there was no need to come over immediately, that it could wait until morning."

"So...you both believe that the man who showed up here last night is really Kaien-dono...no questions asked?" Rukia felt like she was missing something. Both Nii-sama and Ukitake-Taicho knew of Aaroniero, the Espada who had taken the form of Kaien and nearly killed Rukia. It seemed very odd to her that they would both simply accept that a man showing up who looked like Kaien was, in fact, Kaien.

"Well..." Ukitake exchanged a look with Byakuya. The dark-haired Shinigami nodded once before reaching for the door handle.

"I'll put some tea on the stove." With that, Rukia found herself alone on the porch with her captain, confused and wanting answers. She sat down on the steps and looked up expectantly at the dignified man before her. With a sigh, he sat down beside his subordinate.

"You must understand, Rukia, that Byakuya-san and I decided to keep certain things to ourselves....to protect you. We didn't want you getting hurt..."

"With all-due respect, Taicho, I think I deserve some answers." Rukia's voice was soft and anything but disrespectful.

"Hai, of course." Ukitake swept blonde hair out of his face before continuing. "It was about two years ago now. Everyone in Soul Society, and Seireitei in particular, was preparing for the war with Aizen. One night, while going over some paperwork, I felt... something. Although I can remember it clearly even now, I cannot being to convey exactly what it felt like."

"What was it?"

"It felt similar to a massive explosion of Kido. I could tell it was far away, a thousand miles maybe, but it shook my soul. And at the very core of that explosion was an undercurrent of reiatsu...it...." The captain was interrupted by both emotion and a short coughing fit. When he remained silent, Rukia spoke up.

"What about the reiatsu?" Already knowing what the answer would be, Rukia felt a chill travel down her spine.

Ukitake looked away, unable to meet her violet eyes.

"It was Kaien." It wasn't a question. Rukia was simply stating what Ukitake seemed hesitant to say.

"Hai." He finally turned to look at Rukia. "The reiatsu I felt was that of Shiba Kaien. I ran outside to see if anyone else had felt the explosion, but no one seemed to have noticed anything. His reiatsu continued to pulse for several minutes before fading away. I was unsure of what to do, or if I should even do anything. So I waited. There was no way at that time that I could have known or truly understood the implications of what I had felt."

"And Nii-sama? Where does he fit into all of this?"

"After several days had passed with no further incident, I decided to contact Byakyua-san. I felt it prudent to tell somebody of what had happened. However, I found out that he had left Seireitei days before in the middle of the night." He answered Rukia's question before she had a chance to ask it. "He had gone to Hueco Mundo."

Rukia was frozen in silence. Even if she could have spoken, she didn't know what she would have said. So may questions were running through her mind that she wouldn't know where to begin.

"Upon returning to Seireitei, Byakyua-san actually contacted _me_. He said he had some important things he needed to discuss. He, too, had felt the Kido-explosion that night and had also recognized the reiatsu as Kaien's. At the same time, he had a sudden premonition that you were in grave danger and went immediately to Hueco Mundo to find you, Rukia. He didn't realize at the time that the two events were connected."

"That was the night that Aaroniero almost killed me, wasn't it?"

"Hai. And he would have succeeded had it not been for Byakyua-san."

Rukia paused before asking her next question. "Why didn't either of you tell me that you had felt Kaien's reiatsu?"

Sighing again and meeting Rukia's direct and questioning eyes, Ukitake replied. "We didn't want you getting hurt, Rukia. You must believe that our intentions were honest. We didn't know if it was even truly Kaien. And if it was, we did not know what condition he would be in... We did not want to get your hopes up rashly."

"I see." Although hurt, Rukia could understand their logic. Still, it was getting very old that everyone tried so hard to protect her. Didn't anyone realize that she could take care of herself, that she could handle things like this? It was hard not to let her frustrations show.

"Ukitake-Taicho... You said earlier that Nii-sama didn't know at the time that Kaien's reiatsu and my near death were related... What did you mean...?"

At that moment, Byakuya appeared on the porch. Rukia had the burning feeling that he did not want her to hear whatever it was that Ukitake-Taicho had been about to tell her. That was the final straw. She'd had enough of everyone trying to protect her. If it killed her, Rukia was going to find out what was going on. Before she had a chance to express just what she was thinking, Byakuya spoke.

"We have guests arriving."

Right on cue, a senkai gate opened midair. Out of it stepped a graceful blonde Shinigami wearing green robes and carrying what appeared to be a cane. Behind him, and much less gracefully, appeared two large and brash Shinigami, one with fiery orange hair spiked in all directions and the other with crimson locks pulled back into a high ponytail.

Rukia jumped to her feet, excited to see her friends after such a long time apart. All anger and frustrations were momentarily pushed aside.

"Ohayou, Rukia-san!" Urahara called out to Rukia, drawing out the greeting in his usual sing-song tone. He raised a hand to keep his hat in place as he bowed to the Shinigami on the porch.

"Urahara-san!" Rukia returned the greeting, running over to the small group. Byakuya, never a huge fan of Urahara's playful antics, had bid farewell to Ukitake and disappeared back into the sprawling Kuchiki household.

"Oy, Rukia!" The substitute Shinigami with orange hair smiled one of his rare genuine smiles as he called to her.

"Ichi-go!" She couldn't help but squeal as she threw herself at Ichigo, taking him by surprise. Instantly embarrassed by her public display, Rukia released Ichigo from the hug with a blush on her cheeks. A look of surprise had passed over his features only momentarily before his smile returned.

"Hey, pipsqueak!" A large hand came down upon Rukia's head and ruffled her hair in a friendly manner. "Where's my hug?" Before he could say another word, Renji was rewarded with a tiny but fierce fist to the chin. He rubbed the area while pretending to be offended. "Oy! Why the hell does _he_ get all the love?!"

Unable to hold back a smile at the familiar bickering, Rukia replied, "Because _he_ doesn't insult me and mess up my hair after not seeing me for almost a year!"

Behind her back, Ichigo made a face at Renji, sticking out his tongue at the red-head.

Renji growled and lunged at Ichigo only to receive a swift kick in the shins.

"Dammit, Rukia! He made a _face_ at me!" Although he tried hard to lace his words with a heavy feeling of injustice, Renji's amusement with the situation was evident. "Nice uppercut, by the way. You been practicin'?"

Smiling a little smugly Rukia simply thanked Renji for the compliment.

Urahara cleared his throat, getting everyone's attention.

"My, my! What a greeting, indeed! I am sorry to break up this little reunion, but there is work to be done!"

"What work?" Rukia was confused.

"Byakyua-san and I actually asked Urahara-san to come here. We were hoping he could help us with....the current situation."

Rukia was still confused, but a little less so. It would make sense for Nii-sama and Ukitake-Taicho to want some sort of tests or analyses to be run. Just because they believed this man was really Kaien certainly did not mean that the rest of Soul Society would be as accepting. And for their own peace of mind, the added assurance would be necessary.

"So you called Urahara-san to come run some tests on Kaien."

Ukitake nodded.

"What are you two doing here, then?" Rukia turned to address Ichigo and Renji.

"We wanted to see ya, Rukia! I thought that would be obvious!" The hurt in Renji's voice was genuine this time. "Urahara was going to have the senkai gate open anyway, so we thought we'd tag along."

Rukia blushed slightly at his words. "I didn't mean it like that..."

"I know ya didn't!" His wolfish grin instantly back in place, Renji patted Rukia on the back. Then, lowering his voice, he asked in a more serious tone, "Rukia....can we talk?"

Glancing up, Rukia saw that Urahara and Ukitake were deep in conversation, no doubt going over the situation and the various tests the blonde shop-keeper had in mind.

"Go on," Ichigo said simply. "I wanna hear what's goin' on from Ukitake anyway."

With that, Rukia and Renji went inside. The tea Nii-sama had put on much earlier was being kept warm on the stove. Feeling a hint of dejavu, Rukia poured two cups of tea and set them on the table before she and Renji sat down beside each other around the small piece of furniture.

"Rukia, look...." Renji began, ignoring the tea before him. "I just want you to be careful..."

Furious, Rukia set her teacup down hard enough to crack the saucer. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Rukia-" Renji was obviously startled by her reaction.

"Dammit, Renji! I'm sick of everyone trying to protect me! I know how to take care of myself. Isn't that obvious to _anyone_ by now?!" She couldn't help the tears that were pooling in her eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of Renji; that seemed to negate the point she was trying to make. But she was just so tired of everyone treating her like a child. Didn't anyone respect her at all? Hadn't she proven her strength time and again in Hueco Mundo?

"Rukia..." Renji let his voice trail off. He waited until it looked like she'd calmed down. He knew Rukia better than anyone else; he knew that she didn't like to lose her control like this. And so he gave her some time to collect herself.

"I'm sorry, Renji. I didn't mean to go off on you like that." He voice was once again soft, her eyes downcast. "I just wish that people would stop trying so hard to protect me from everything. It's always been easy for you....being as strong as you are....people don't feel like they have to protect _you_. They see you as the protector." She paused for just a moment, taking a deep breath then releasing it slowly. "I just want people to stop thinking I'm this fragile girl who needs to be protected."

"I don't see ya like that at all, Rukia! Ever since the day we met I knew you didn't need protectin'... I wanted to be near ya just to be near ya...."

Rukia was instantly sorry their conversation had gone in this direction. Renji had confessed his feelings for her decades ago. There had been a time when she had felt almost the same way, when she thought she could return his feelings. For some reason, however, her feelings never grew quite as strong as his and although she truly loved Renji, she didn't think she was being fair to him.

Then she had met Kurosaki Ichigo. Her instant attraction to him had more to do with his resemblance to Kaien than anything else, something she had ardently denied for over a year. But, as she'd gotten to know him, she had started to experience other feelings for Ichigo, deeper feelings. It became something she could no longer ignore

_"You know he's not Shiba Kaien and he's never going to be."_

_Violet eyes liquid with tears, Rukia had replied, "That has nothing to do with it, Renji! I love Ichigo for who_ he _is, not for who he looks like!"_

_Sighing, Renji pulled her into an embrace which she accepted. He rested his chin on her raven head, rubbing his hands in slow circles over her back. "Oy, Rukia. If that's how you really feel..."_

_"It is."_

It had broken her heart to say those words to Renji. She knew they were like a knife to his heart. But his love for her was so immense that he had supported her decision and let her go. However, she'd never had the chance to express her feelings to Ichigo. The day following her emotional talk with Renji, they had received notification of Inoue's kidnapping.

Coming out of her reverie, Rukia reached out and took Renji's hand in her own.

"Rukia, I know ya loved Kaien. But just please....promise me you'll be careful with all of this... You say that the man in that room is Shiba Kaien. Kuchiki-Taicho and Ukitake-Taicho seem to think the same thing. That's good enough for me. But....just promise to be careful. I don't wanna see ya get hurt again like before..."

"Renji...arigato."

Rukia didn't know if it was the hot summer morning, all the emotions from the previous night, or simply seeing Renji again for the first time in so long, but she couldn't help the momentary flare of old feelings that washed over her. She could see that Renji was feeling the same thing. He brought his free hand up to caress her cheek. His war-roughened skin was a nice contrast to the softness of her own. The nostalgic feel of his touch made her skin tingle.

"Rukia..."

He moved closer until their faces were almost touching. His fingers slide under her chin and tilted her face up towards his own. Without thinking, Rukia leaned forward the slightest fraction of an inch. It was enough to bring their lips into contact. Rukia let her eyes close as Renji deepened the kiss, allowing herself to be taken in by his overwhelming presence and surprising gentleness.

The moment was broken almost as soon as it had begun by a quiet noise in the hallway. Rukia and Renji jumped, both pulling out of the embrace.

Looking up, Rukia saw Kaien in the hallway. He brought a hand up to the back of his neck and put on a smile that Rukia knew was fake, attempting to cover up the embarrassment and disappointment she had not missed just a moment ago.

"Ohayou, Rukia!" He started walking towards the pair. Rukia felt extremely flustered and was sure her cheeks were as red as Renji's hair. "Abarai-san, it's been awhile!"

"Shiba-san..." It was clear that Renji didn't know how to act. His discomfort was palpable.

"Please, call me Kaien!"

Renji looked to Rukia to see how he should respond.

"Ohayou, Kaien." Her voice was soft and when she met his eyes she wanted to cry. He could smile and speak cheerfully all he wanted, but Rukia could suddenly read his feelings just by looking into his eyes. His eyes told her that seeing her with Renji a moment ago had been more than just an embarrassing and uncomfortable accident. It had hurt him to see her with someone else like that. There was also a look of understanding and something like resignation.

_Has he always been this easy to read? Is this something new since he came back? Can everyone read him so well, or is it just me? Does it have anything to do with what he said....about leaving his heart with me when he died?_

Renji stood up abruptly. "I think I'm gonna go see what Ichigo's up to..." And with that, he was out the door.

"Kaien..."

Before she could offer any explanation, Urahara came twirling into the house. _I think we should really start using the lock...I can't finish a conversation around here!_ Rukia's thoughts were layered with frustration as she looked apologetically up at Kaien. He smiled weakly back.

"Shiba-san! How _are_ you? It's been years!" Urahara really was a curious man. His sing-song way of speaking and nonsensical behavior had most people convinced that he was nothing more than a ridiculous old man. But those who had known him when he'd been a captain in Seireitei knew better.

"Urahara-san. It's good to see you..."

Kaien's voice trailed away as Urahara pulled from his robs several items: a tiny vial, a small pair of scissors, and a strange machine about the size of a metal-detector. With the scissors, Urahara snipped a small spike of Kaien's hair before Rukia even knew what was happening and placed the sample in the vial. He then picked up the strange looking metal-detector-sized machine, pushed several buttons and began waving it around Kaien's body. In fact, he looked just like an airport security guard using a metal detector at the airport. Rukia was able to make this mental comparison because, on lazy nights in Karakura-Town, Ichigo would show her movies in an attempt to "culture" her in the ways of the living world.

After several long moments of this odd behavior, Urahara pushed some more buttons on the machine and then all three items were returned to his robes from whence they came.

"All done!" He all but sang the simple words, a large smile on his face.

"So, what was all that?" Kaien looked very perplexed having stood still throughout the entire procedure.

"Just getting some samples! Nothing to be concerned about. Yet, anyway. No, I am sure: nothing to be concerned about!"

"What was that metal-detector thing?" Rukia knew she sounded suspicious and hoped her tone would not offend Urahara.

"That, Rukia-san, was a reiatsu collector! It's one of my newest inventions! Shh!" He raised a finger to his lips. "Don't tell anyone, though! It's not exactly what you'd call legal...."

"So...you collected a sample of his reiatsu?"

"Precisely! I plan to run some tests on it to prove without a doubt that this man is Shiba Kaien and to maybe help us figure out where he's been and how he's here now! Now, if you'll excuse me, I must return to the shoten! But don't fret! Ichigo-kun and Abarai-san will be staying here for awhile to keep you company! Bye-bye!"

And with that, the crazy shop-keeper was gone.

"Interesting man." Kaien said softly behind her.

Turning around, Rukia saw that Kaien had sat down by the table. She slowly walked across the kitchen and lowered herself onto a cushion beside him.

"Nobody thinks I'm really _me_. They think I'm dangerous."

Suddenly, Rukia realized that she and Kaien were feeling two sides of the same emotional coin. He was upset because everyone thought he was dangerous, and she was upset because everyone thought she needed protecting. In simply remaining by Kaien's side through all of this, she could show people that she didn't need to be protected. At the same time, she could show Kaien that she didn't believe he was dangerous.

"Kaien-dono, they just want to be sure. You have to admit, it's pretty miraculous that you're here!" She smiled warmly when he finally looked up and met her eyes. "Everyone that's seen you today, we all _know_ who you are and that you're not dangerous. Do you think Nii-sama would let me sit in here alone with you if he thought you were dangerous? Do you think he would let us sleep one room apart?"

He didn't answer, but she could see it was making sense to him so she continued.

"They want to have enough evidence to show _everyone else_. You know how cautious and suspicious Yamamoto-Genryusai is. If they were to alert him now that you're back, he'd have you locked up immediately while he decided what tests to run. If Urahara-san can prove _scientifically_ that you are who _we know_ _you are_, then things might go a little smoother.

"You're right, Rukia." Finally, a genuine smile broke across Kaien's face, albeit tentatively.

Rukia reached over and took his hands in her own. It was something she couldn't avoid doing; ever since she had seen Kaien last night for the first time, her instincts had been to protect him, to care for him. She couldn't hold back those urges any longer.

Kaien looked down at their joined hands. "Won't this upset your _koibito_ if he comes back inside?"

"Kaien....I was trying to explain that earlier before Urahara-san waltzed in here. Renji and I....that wasn't what you thought it was...it wasn't what it looked like..."

Kaien looked at her with a wistful expression. "It's okay, Rukia... you don't have to explain."

"Yes, I do! I need you to know this Kaien! Renji is _not_ my koibito! Renji and I.... we have a long history, as I'm sure you remember. There was a time when....when things _were_ like that between us. I haven't seen him in over a year and...I think I was just overcome with so many different emotions that....well, you saw what happened."

Their eyes met and the look Kaien gave her made Rukia blush.

"My point is, there is nothing between me and Renji anymore. There's nothing between me and anyone right now period..."

A shy smile tugged at the corners of Kaien's lips and his eyes lit up, returning to life. It amazed Rukia that such a simple admission on her part could change his entire demeanor so drastically. She couldn't help the answering smile that broke across her face. She felt as if they were on the brink of something, as if this moment was a very significant turning point in their relationship. With each second she was near him, Rukia felt a hole in her soul closing and getting smaller; it was a chasm she hadn't even known existed until she'd felt it begin healing last night.

"Rukia..."

Suddenly, there was a loud crash outside. They both jumped and ran to the door, Rukia getting there first. She threw it open and they stepped out onto the porch to see what the commotion had been.

Urahara and Ukitake were both gone by now and, by the looks of things, Renji and Ichigo had been sparring in the expansive yard. Both Shinigami were now in a tangled pile with a third hulk-of-a-man on top of them and a large boar-type animal grazing a few feet away.

"Get offa me!" She couldn't tell if the words had come from Renji or Ichigo.

"Shaddup! It's not _my_ fault Bonnie-chan doesn't know when to stop!"

"Ganju?" That voice came from beside Rukia; it was Kaien.

"Kaien! How the hell are ya, onii-san?! Yer back and ya don't even come to see your brother and sister? Do ya know how pissed Kukaku's gonna be?!"

[**A/N:** Yeah....I didn't intend for the Renji/Rukia twist to actually be two-sided; it just happened! Could make things interesting in upcoming chapters perhaps?]


	5. The Phoenix Revealed

**A/N  
**Hey all! So sorry for the delay in posting anything new. School has once again started and I'm trying desperately to balance studying with working with planning a wedding! The result = not much time to write unfortunately. I may try to update again in December but if you don't see anything before January 4th, don't expect anything for awhile. But do be patient! I have not abandoned this. Thanks a MILLION to those of you who have commented, fav'ed this, and put it on your update. You guys keep me motivated! :)

The part where there's a lot in _italics_ is a flash back.  
I own NOTHING as ALWAYS.  
The poem and part of Kaien's dialogue need some crediting:  
Song: Everything  
Artist: Lifehouse (This song is sort of the epitome of what's going on here. Listen to it! I know you have youtube!!)

Ja-ne: Goodbye (informal)  
Onee-san: Older sister

Summer turned into fall and fall begrudgingly gave way to winter. Seasons weren't as spectacular in Seireitei as they were in the real world, but they were beautiful nonetheless. Rukia was surprised to feel the hint of something wet fall on her cheek. Looking up, her violet eyes widened in astonishment. Gently spiraling down from the clear sky above were snowflakes, beautiful and perfectly formed, each one unique. In all her years as a Shinigami Rukia had never known it to snow in Seireitei. Her own Zanpakuto being ice based she had certainly seen snow and ice countless times, but never had she seen natural snow fall from the sky. She closed her eyes and allowed the soft flakes to fall down upon her, no doubt covering her raven hair and black robes.

Although indeed beautiful, the snow was an enigma. It may have been winter in Soul Society, but the temperature never dropped below sixty degrees - cool, maybe, but nowhere near cold enough to form the gentle flakes that were now drifting towards the ground.

"Oi, Rukia! Think fast!"

Before she could turn around, something cold and slightly soggy hit Rukia square in the back of her head. Recognizing the voice and feeling no real pain from the impact, Rukia turned around slowly, fists balled at her sides in fury.

"I-chi-go!"

The substitute Shinigami was doubled over, unable to contain his laughter as Rukia screamed his name in annoyance. Just then, a red blur flashed across the clearing and tackled Ichigo to the ground, causing Rukia's eyes to once again widen, this time in surprise.

"What the hell, Renji? What's your problem?!" Ichigo was slightly breathless owing to having had the wind knocked out of him moments before by the massive Shinigami that was Abarai Renji.

"What the hell didja throw at Rukia and what'd ya do it for?" Renji demanded angrily.

"Seriously?" Rukia could see that Ichigo looked perplexed by Renji's reaction. However, she, too, wanted to know what he'd thrown at her and why he'd done it. _Why are these two oafs always ruining my quiet time?_

"Do you really wanna know, Renji?" A playful grin had replaced Ichigo's usual scowl and his voice had taken on an amused tone.

Renji, however, was not amused. He had Ichigo pinned to the ground and was expectantly awaiting an answer.

Instead of answering the question, Ichigo surprised them both by bringing up an arm that neither Renji nor Rukia had realized was unrestrained and shoved a handful of snow playfully in Renji's face. The red-headed Shinigami looked stunned and momentarily loosened his hold on the younger man. Ichigo took the opportunity to push him off and jumped up, brushing snow from the front of his robes, chuckling quietly.

Ichigo became aware that Renji and Rukia were both looking at him like he'd gone insane. To be more specific, Renji looked as if he were about to kill Ichigo: teeth barred and ready to pounce, and Rukia just looked very, very confused.

"Uh, guys? Haven't you played in the snow before?"

Raising an eyebrow, Rukia replied, "It doesn't snow in Soul Society, Ichigo. This is... an anomaly. So you.....were playing?" She didn't quite grasp the concept of _playing_ with the fluffy white stuff.

Rolling his eyes, Ichigo bent down and scooped up a handful of snow. Very deliberately, making sure his friends were watching, he packed the snow into a perfect ball. He held it up in the palm of his hand so that they could both see what he'd made: a ball out of snow. Then, just as deliberately, he threw it at Renji, hitting him right between the eyes. The look on Renji's face elicited a howl of laughter from the substitute Shinigami. He dropped to his knees, laughing so hard that tears had come to his eyes.

Finally catching on, a smile played at the corner of Rukia's lips. She noticed Renji's muscles bunching as he prepared to pounce on Ichigo for the injustice. Before he could jump, however, Rukia grabbed the back of his robes, keeping him in place. He turned to look at her.

"_Mate_, Renji. You fight fire with fire so you fight snow..." as she said this, Rukia had quietly grabbed a handful of snow and shaped her own perfectly round snowball, "...with snow!" With that, she hurled the snowball at Ichigo and hit him in the chest hard enough to knock him over causing her to shriek with delight.

"Ha! Good one, pipsqueak!" Renji didn't realize his mistake until a handful of snow found it's way down the back of his robes. "Kuso!"

"Baka! There are no teams in snow-play Renji!" Suddenly puzzled, she looked over at Ichigo who had recovered from the surprise attack and was once again laughing at Renji. "Oi, Ichigo. Are there teams in snow-play?"

"Not unless you want there to be." Sometimes it surprised him how simple Shinigami could be....not even knowing what a snowball was or how to play in the snow. It made him smile.

Rukia loved it. Playing in the snow was something she'd never gotten to do before. More than that, though, she was seeing a side of Ichigo she had never seen before. The weight of the world seemed to be off his shoulders for the moment as he showed them how to make the perfect snowball and techniques for sneaking up on someone in a snowball fight. He showed them how to make angels in the snow and even how to make a funny looking creature out of the snow. This creature he called a Snow Man. Making the Snow Man was difficult, however, because there wasn't enough of the white stuff. Watching Ichigo smile and laugh as he dodged Renji's snowballs, it was easy for Rukia to see why she'd fallen in love with him. It was something she hadn't thought of in months.....not since Kaien's return...

Turning her face once again towards the sky, Rukia noticed it had stopped snowing. It was at that moment that she became aware of a familiar reiatsu behind her. Renji and Ichigo had stopped goofing around and were looking in her direction. She met Renji's eyes and thought she saw a flicker of something....sadness? Maybe it was regret. She couldn't read him as easily as she could now read Kaien.

"We're gonna head back into Seireitei, Rukia." It was Ichigo who spoke. "We'll see ya tonight?"

It took Rukia a moment to remember what he was referring to. "Oh, hai. I'll see you both tonight. Ja-ne!" With that, the two flash-stepped out of sight.

Rukia took a breath and turned around slowly. Kaien stood before her, a shy smile on his lips.

"Konnichiwa, Rukia."

She returned both his smile and his greeting. "Konnichiwa, Kaien."

Things had been strange these last few months with Kaien being back. Not that things were bad, just...different. Urahara's tests had all come back with the same result: the man who had shown up on the Kuchiki doorstep that summer night was Shiba Kaien. Yamamoto Genryūsai had then been informed of Kaien's miraculous return. Even with Urahara's seemingly irrefutable proof of Kaien's identity, he insisted that the research bureau perform several additional tests; the results were all the time: solid confirmation of Kaien's identity. Although nobody could _officially_ explain why or how it had happened, it seemed that Shiba Kaien was truly back.

Kaien had been reinstated to his original position as fukutaicho of the 13th Division despite his ardent protests. For the most part, it could be said that things had returned to normal. Almost.

Things between Kaien and Rukia could not be called normal by any stretch of the imagination. Since returning, he no longer referred to her as 'Kuchiki' but instead called her by her familiar name and always in soft and gentle tones. It was something that was taking some getting used to by Rukia; it always caused her heart to jump and a slight flush to rise in her cheeks. In the presence of their squad, Rukia still referred to her fukutaicho as Kaien-dono, mostly out of habit.

In fact, Rukia had been making a strong effort for the last five months to not be anywhere alone or isolated with Kaien. She did this not out of fear for her life, but rather nervousness at the new circumstances surrounding their relationship. She thought she'd been clever and tactful enough to not hurt Kaien's feelings or make him think the wrong things, but she could see by the look in his eyes that she'd failed miserably.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," he said, referring to the snowball fight he'd walked in on. "Your friends didn't have to leave."

"Don't worry about it, Kaien. Ichigo was teaching us about snow-play. You know, snowball fights, Snow Creatures, that sort of thing."

Kaien smiled. "Snow Creatures?"

"Yeah! You roll up some balls of snow, put them on top of each other, and stick a carrot in the top one! Terrifying, right?"

"I think you mean a Snow _Man_, Rukia." Kaien's smile widened and, for the moment, any sadness she had detected in his eyes was gone.

"So you know about them!"

Kaien raised a hand up to scratch the nape of his neck. "I seem to remember something about them, yes."

With that, an awkward silence fell between the pair. Rukia couldn't think of anything else snow-related to chatter about. She knew Kaien was probably hurt seeing her messing around with Ichigo and Renji when she'd been making every excuse possible to avoid him, telling him how busy she was and how much work she had to do and the extensive hours of training she was putting in every day. She was caught in her lies and didn't know what she could say to make things better.

"I was just out for a walk and ran into Ichigo and Renji and-"

"You don't have to explain, Rukia. It's okay; I think I understand.... I'm glad I found you, though. I have something I want to give to you."

"Something for me? What is it?"

Kaien smiled and held out a small box with a delicate silver bow on top.

"What's this for?"

"It's a Christmas present."

She'd completely forgotten it was Christmas. That was what Renji and Ichigo had been referring to earlier, after all. Byakuya was having a part at their house later that evening for everyone. To say Byakuya was throwing the party was not entirely true; Yachiru, having taken over certain rooms within the Kuchiki manor for her weekly Shinigami Women's Association meetings, had planned and executed the entire gathering. Byakuya had done everything in his power to put a stop to it but telling Yachiru 'no' was something not many succeeded at.

Coming out of her thoughts, Rukia took the small box and looked up at Kaien, confused. Presents were not a common Christmas tradition in Soul Society.

"Ukitake-taicho tells me that exchanging presents on Christmas is something of a tradition in the real world. And....I thought you might like this....it's something I want you to have, anyway..." His words came to a halt, color rising in his cheeks at the admission.

"Kaien..."

"Please, open it."

Rukia gently tugged at the silver bow, letting it fall to the ground. She slowly lifted the top off of the box and looked inside. Tears instantly pooled in her violet eyes, threatening to overflow. It was a moment before Rukia was able to lift her hand to remove the delicate silver chain from the box. Holding the necklace up, she could see the two little silver pendants more clearly: a solid heart and a phoenix.

"Kaien..."

"Please, Rukia. You don't have to say anything. You don't even have to wear it....just....I just wanted you to have it..." His gentle, uncertain words caused the tears to escape, leaving wet streaks on either cheek.

Much like that night so many months ago, Kaien reached out a hand to wipe her tears away, cupping her cheek softly.

"How can I stand here with you Rukia, and not be moved by you?" His words were barely a whisper.

She looked up to meet his charcoal eyes.

"You're all I want....you're all I need....you're everything...."

Rukia didn't know what to say. So she said nothing. She simply held his gaze, allowing him to caress her cheek. It was a touch she'd been longing for ever since that hot summer night. She saw in Kaien's eyes love, cherishment, longing. Beneath all of those things was determination. It was a determination she didn't quite understand.

Then Kaien did something she was not expecting: he leaned down and brushed his lips against her own. It was neither demanding nor forceful but soft and gentle, tentative. Before she had a chance to respond to the kiss, he pulled away from her, resting his forehead against hers. Her heart was racing wildly in her chest.

"Rukia, I will wait for you. For as long as it takes. Forever. I'll be here waiting for you. Always...."

He placed a chastise kiss on her forehead before turning to leave.

"Kaien, _mate_!"

He turned back to look at her. "What is it, Rukia?"

"Will you be at Nii-sama's tonight? You know, for the Christmas party?"

Kaien smiled. "Hai. If you want me to be there, that is."

The blush across Rukia's cheeks deepened, if that was even possible. "Y-yes, of course I want you there Kaien."

His smile widened. "Good! Then I'll see you tonight!" With those words, he was gone and Rukia was left alone in the clearing once again.

She looked down at the little box in her hands and the dainty charms within. As she took the silver chain out and put the necklace around her neck, a small piece of paper fluttered to the ground. Curious, she bent down and quickly grabbed it before the breeze could blow it away. She unfolded the note and recognized Kaien's handwriting; it was a poem:

_ Find me here  
Speak to me  
I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You are the light  
That's leading me  
To the place where I find peace again._

_You are the strength, that keeps me walking.  
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.  
You are the light to my soul.  
You are my purpose...you're everything._

_ You calm the storms, and you give me rest.  
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.  
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away._

_ How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_

_ Merry Christmas, Rukia._

The words brought another set of tears to her eyes that she didn't even try to hold back. They were promptly followed by more tears as the months of frustration and confusion, nervousness and uncertainly finally expressed themselves. She'd held so much in for so long now and she could no longer do it. Dropping to her knees, Rukia let all of her pent up emotions out in silence as the tears streamed freely down her cheeks.

It all stemmed from that beautiful summer day...the day that Ganju had shown up in the front yard. He'd been ecstatic to see his brother again, not for one second doubting his true identity. He'd convinced Kaien to come back to the Shiba household to face their sister Kukaku's wrath. She had apparently known since the night before that their brother had returned to Seireitei and was irritated, to say the least, that he'd gone to the Kuchiki home before visiting his own family. Kaien had insisted that Rukia come with them and since Ganju hadn't seen Ichigo or Renji in over a year they came along as well. It was an awkward party if nothing else.

Rukia had no idea that the awkwardness was only getting started.

After a greeting involving first the throwing of various items in their general direction and then hugs all around, the group sat down for some tea and conversation. They talked throughout the afternoon about everything: what Kukaku and Ganju had been doing for the past several years, Ichigo and Renji's boring days in Karakura Town, and the war with Aizen and Gin. It was in the hours just after twilight that the conversation finally turned to the topic everyone had been anticipating: Kaien's astounding return to Soul Society.

To everyone's surprise, Kukaku had an explanation, of sorts, as to why and how Kaien was able to come back. Like Ganju, she never had a glimmer of doubt that the man before her was her brother. Nor was she all that surprised that he'd come back. What stumped Kukaku, however, was why it had taken so long for Kaien to come home.

She explained that the history of the Shiba Clan was a rich one, surrounded by a mysterious legend. Members of the Shiba clan were, as legend went, much like the phoenix, a mythical bird that was reborn after it's death. Like the phoenix rose from its own ashes, so did the Shiba rise again following his own demise.

This elicited many questions from the group. Kaien and Rukia had remained silent, exchanging a confused glance with one another.

After quieting everyone down, Kukaku had continued.

_"It's not like this is something that happens every day, ya'know? I don't think there's even a documented case of it ever happening actually. It's all based in legend and lore that's been passed down. Ganju will you shut up and let me talk! Baka!"_

_"Sorry Onee-san!!"_

_"Anyway.... There are rules to it, ya'know? It's not like every time one of us dies we just up and come back, right? We believe that at the very moment of our birth, our destinies are set. We have free will, yeah, but the big things have been set." She waved a hand at someone who was trying to interrupt and continued. "For example, we all have a soulmate, in the most literal sense of the word - we are one soul that is split at birth. Whether or not we know we're doing it, we spend our whole lives looking for our soul's mate. Simple as that."_

_Rukia was beginning to feel chills going down her spine. She was unable to look at Kaien any more and instead looked down at her hands. She didn't know where the conversation was going and she was starting to feel nervous and uncomfortable._

_"It's said, as the legend goes, that if a Shiba dies in the presence of their soulmate, their heart remains with that person." Her eyes were intently focused on Kaien._

_At those words, Rukia's head snapped up and she turned to look at Kaien. It was Kaien this time, who would not meet Rukia's eyes but instead stared at the floor in front of him._

_"If the soulmate knows about the legend, they can supposedly call the Shiba back to life. There are, of course, no details on how that's done." Her gaze turned Rukia. "If, however, the soulmate isn't aware of any of this, nothing happens."_

_Rukia, imitating Kaien, had gone back to studying the floor. She could feel four sets of eyes her and Kaien. Everyone had gone silent, as if they were all holding their breath, captivated by Kukaku's story, wondering if any of this were possible._

_"Ganju, you're annoying me! Why don't you get out of here and take Ichigo and Renji with you!"_

_"But sis! I wanna hear the rest of the story! And I wasn't even _doing_ anything!"_

_"Ganju!" Kukaku screamed his name and threw the tea pot which narrowly missed his head and smashed into a million shards against the wall._

_"_ _Gomennasai, Onee-san!" Looking perplexed, Ichigo and Renji had jumped up as well and all three headed outside._

_"Those idiots annoy the hell out of me. Now! Where were we?"_

_Rukia, for the first time in her life, felt grateful for Kukaku's action. Although nothing specific had been said, she could now see where this story was going and it had made her extremely uncomfortable having Renji and Ichigo both there to hear it._

_"Arigatou gozaimasu, Kukaku-san." Rukia quietly thanked the other woman for her sensitivity._

_"Ah, it's no biggie. Like I said, they annoy me anyway!"_

_"Why had I never heard any of this?"_

_It was the first time Kaien had spoken since Kukaku had started her story._

_"Because you were the good one of us three. I stayed up late eavesdropping on the adults while Ganju played with Bonnie-chan and you studied." She smiled and winked at them. "Sometimes they had interesting things to talk about!"_

_"Huh..."_

_"Anyway. Some of this gets kinda personal so....I'm sorry ahead of time. If it's too much, just tell me to stop."_

_"Arigatou." Kaien glanced at Rukia who was now able to meet his eyes. She smiled weakly as Kukaku continued._

_"So where was I? Oh yeah! If the soulmate doesn't know any of the Shiba lore, they won't be able to do anything themselves to bring him back. Hell, they won't even know that they _can_ bring him back! But it's said that if there is a moment of extreme turmoil, or desperate need in the soulmate's life, the Shiba will finally be able to come back. Did I lose ya?" When they both shook their heads she went on. "Good! Now here's what I _don't_ understand. Rukia, your life is in danger all the time, you being a friggin' Shinigami and all. So why did it take so long for Kaien to come back?"_

_And there it was. She had finally acknowledged what Rukia had been waiting to hear. She felt the heat in hear cheeks spread down her neck and up to the top of her ears. _Is Kukaku saying that I'm Kaien's soulmate? Can that be true...?_ As those thoughts were flying through Rukia's mind, she suddenly realized something._

_"I know why he couldn't come back sooner." It was almost inaudible but two heads turned in her direction simultaneously._

_"Oh?"_

_"When Kaien....died.... he was possessed by a hollow. Metastacia. Even though his heart remained...was left behind...his spirit was still tied into Metastacia. Metastacia's body was taken back to Hueco Mundo apparently. Once it arrived there, it was eaten by another hollow. Aaroniero Arruruerie." She shuddered just saying it's name. "That hollow had the ability to take on the form and powers of any hollow or Shinigami that it'd eaten. As long as Aaroniero Arruruerie was alive, Kaien's soul wasn't free to come back."_

_"Makes sense." Kukaku said, trying to sound slightly disinterested and failing quite miserably. "So what happened to this Aaroniero? I take it you met him in Hueco Mundo?"_

_Rukia forgot that Kukaku didn't know all the details of everything that had happened over there._

_"Yeah, I met him." She took a deep breath. "He confronted me as Kaien."_

_It was Kukaku who drew a sharp breath then. Kaien reached over and took Rukia's hand. She glanced at him and smiled shyly before going on._

_"He convinced me that he was Kaien. He talked as if we were old friends, sharing memories of old times we'd had together. Then he told me that he would forgive me for killing him only if I killed Ichigo and Renji. That's when I realized that he wasn't Kaien...just a cheap and ruthless imposter." Her hand had tightened around Kaien's._

_"It's okay Rukia, he's gone now." He squeezed her hand in return._

_"So then what happened?" Kukaku had dropped all pretenses and was listening intently._

_"We fought. I killed him, but not before he almost finished me off. I may have even died for a short time, I don't know. If Nii-sama hadn't shown up I would be dead for sure."_

_"Wow. So that would definitely be a moment of great turmoil in your life... I had heard the gist of what went on there, but this is the first I've heard of the details. Unbelievable."_

_When her words registered, Rukia became confused. "You'd already heard the gist of that story? Where'd you hear it?"_

_"When Byakuya and Ukitake showed up here a couple weeks after that all happened."_

_"What? Nii-sama and Ukitake-taicho were here? Why?" Rukia exclaimed, extremely surprised._

_"They didn't tell you? The night that all that was going on in Hueco Mundo there was a large kido-type explosion in Seireitei. Kaien's reiatsu was all over the place for the rest of the night and then it disappeared. I knew it meant Kaien was back...I couldn't believe it! A Shiba finally rising like the phoenix...and it was Kaien! Ganju and I went out searching but couldn't find him anywhere."_

_"Ukitake-taicho just told me about feeling his reiatsu this morning. He said he and Nii-sama were trying to protect me by not telling me." Rukia felt injustice swelling up in her chest. Did everyone know about this before she did?? _This must be what Ukitake-taicho was starting to tell me about this morning when Nii-sama intervened. Kuso! Still trying to keep things from me!

_"Yeah, sounds like them. Stupid Shinigami." Kukaku paused to take a gulp of her tea. "So I guess that would explain why it took so long, his soul being tied up and all."_

_Kaien had been listening in stunned silence as the two women talked. He was glad to be back, but this was all getting to be a little overwhelming for him. Having stopped really listening to the conversation, he interrupted Kukaku mid-sentence._

_"Where was I?"_

_Both women looked at him._

_"What do you mean, onii-san?"_

_"After I....died. Before I came back, when my soul was tied up in those hollows. Where was I, Kukaku?"_

_Kukaku looked uncomfortable now which was very unusual for the busty Shiba. "I'm not...entirely sure, onii-san. They never really talked about that and as far as I know, no one really _knows_ where you are during that time. But...."_

_"What is it?"_

_"Well, they say that...uh...your soulmate is actually able to find out....um..."_

_"Kukaku..."_

_"Well when you and your soulmate, ya'know.." She started making awkward and lewd gestures with her hands. Rukia thought she might fait of embarassment. Kaien finally jumped up._

_"I think we get it, Kukaku!" When she finally stopped stammering and making the lewd gestures he sat back down next to Rukia, avoiding her gaze._

_"Well, okay then. It's said that at that moment, the Shiba's soulmate will see where you've been. It's up for debate whether or not the Shiba himself can see it too. This is all legend, mind you. Who the hell knows if any of it's true anyway?" She laughed loudly and obnoxiously to cover up the awkwardness that had settled over the small room. Rukia was very glad that she'd sent the others away earlier._

_"Anyway!" Kukaku jumped up and stretched in a very over-exaggerated manner. "Wouldja look at the time! Whew! I think I'm gonna turn in....." She eyed the pair of Shinigami sitting on her floor. "You two gonna stay here or head back to the Kuchiki place?_

_They looked at each other, neither answering._

_"Ooookay...well I'm going to bed...lock the door before you leave, or go to bed, or, uh, do whatever it is you crazy kids are gonna do..." With that Kukaku was gone from sight._

_Rukia was suddenly very aware of herself. She was also suddenly very aware that she and Kaien were alone in the small room now._

_"Rukia..."_

_"Did you know any of that, Kaien?"_

_"None of it. Well...about the soulmate part...."_

_"You knew? Why didn't you ever say anything?" She knew she shouldn't be upset with Kaien, but it was getting hard to keep track of her emotions._

_"I knew I had feelings for you before, Rukia. These feelings...they were so strong, something I'd never felt before. I thought then that you might be my soulmate. But I was married when I met you! I loved my wife, so there was nothing that could be done." His voice was quiet, barely reaching her ears. "When I came back I was certain. I'd never felt anything so strong and I'd never been more sure of anything. That's why I needed so badly to get back to you, Rukia."_

After that, they'd sat in awkward silence for some time before finally falling asleep leaning against one another. Rukia, as always in those situations, hadn't known what to say and had therefore had said very little. Her heart was bursting with so many things she wanted to say but she just didn't know how. She'd awoken before him a few hours later and had immediately left for home.

Of course Ichigo and Renji had bugged her endlessly wanting to hear the details they had missed and she told them to get out of her face please, but not in such nice terms. There were no more questions after that. But there were always the curious looks in her direction.

And so, not knowing what to do about everything, she had spent the last five months doing everything should could to avoid Kaien. She knew deep in her heart that she'd been hurting him. Now, gently fingering the pendants on the thin chain around her neck, she admitted to herself that what she'd been doing was wrong. It wasn't fair to Kaien and it wasn't fair to herself. She vowed to make things right. Kaien had been through hell and back and what had she done? Flat-out abandoned him when he'd needed her the most. She wasn't going to do that anymore. She was finally going to own her destiny.


	6. Hot and Bothered

Finally, an update!  
I changed the rating to M...let me know what you think. I would really appreciate some reviews on this! :)  
_Fenikkusu jōshō to tatakau: Phoenix Rise and Fight_ (or something like that...)

* * *

The sounds of conventional Christmas music mingling with laughter and conversation drifted out from the Kuchiki household. The manor itself was illuminated by the soft glow of thousands of tiny multi-colored lights and the railings leading up the stairs to the front door were coiled with deep green pine-needle garlands. Rukia's nose was greeted with the faint smell of pine as well as whatever culinary delights were being cooked and baked within. It made her smile to know that all of her friends and fellow shinigami were, for once, joined together for a relaxing, worry-free evening. Nights such as this were a rarity. Looking at the welcoming scene, she had a strong feeling that Byakuya had had little, if anything, to do with it. More than likely, the decorations and wonderful smells were courtesy of Yachiru and the Shinigami Women's Association.

Rukia stood in front of the house in silence, taking everything in. Although she had spent many of her Shinigami years in this very home, she now hesitated to go inside. Among the various reiatsus emanating from within, she could, without question, detect one very clearly: that of Kaien-dono. She hesitated not out of fear, but out of nervousness and excitement. Earlier that very day Rukia had made up her mind to finally stop running from her fuku-taicho and her feelings for him. Her cheeks flushed pink as she thought of the brief meeting of their lips and the whispered promise of Kaien to wait for her.

Taking a deep breath, Rukia ran her hands down the front of her lavender dress, suddenly feelings somewhat self-conscious. The invitation had stated in no uncertain terms that casual dress was mandatory; anyone who dared to show up in the standard-issue Shinigami robes would be escorted out, thanyouverymuch. Still, she had never been around all of her fellow Shinigami in such casual attire. After much internal debate, she'd decided to heed the warning of the invitation; although small, Yachiru could be very powerful and intimidating when she wanted to be and Rukia had no intentions of crossing the little fuku-taicho. She straightened up, brushed the stray bang out of her eyes and prepared to go inside.

"Oi, Rukia!"

Startled, Rukia turned her head towards the voice behind her. She'd been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't even noticed Ichigo approaching. She mentally scolded herself. _You've got to stop doing that, baka!_

"Ichigo! I thought you'd be inside by now." Rukia looked Ichigo over, always forgetting how good he looked in his regular, non-Shinigami clothing. Not that he looked bad in uniform either... Heat quickly spread across her cheeks at the thought.

Raising an eyebrow, Ichigo replied. "Nah. I had to run home to get some 'casual' clothes. Y'know, didn't want to piss off Yachiru." He lowered his voice. "She's really scary sometimes. Plus, if I piss _her_ off, Kenpachi'll probably wanna come kick my ass." Ichigo shuddered at the thought of having to fight the powerful taicho again.

"Anyway, you look nice, pipsqueak!" He reached out a hand and ruffled Rukia's hair. She swatted him away, trying her hardest to look irritated and failing miserably before smoothing out her dark tresses once again.

"Thanks... so do you. Are those tight clothes _really_ comfortable?" She reached out a hand and plucked at his dark t-shirt, seeing if it was as tight as it looked. The soft material surprisingly gave easily. It was Ichigo's turn to brush her hand playfully away.

"You obviously know nothing of style, Rukia. And yes, these clothes _are_ comfortable. Cotton...it breathes well you know."

Rukia's eyes widened. "Your shirt...breathes...?!" She leaned in closer to inspect it. Ichigo just laughed.

"I just mean that it's...comfortable. It's not...constricting, y'know?" He sighed affectionately, slinging his arm around her slim shoulders. "You really amuse me sometimes, Rukia. Let's go inside and see everyone." And with that, they headed up the stairs and through the door.

The scene inside was something out of a movie, the kind of movie Ichigo used to make her watch in an attempt to culture her to the ways of the real world. A fire burned brightly in the fireplace against one wall illuminating and warming the room pleasantly. Candles were placed strategically throughout the room casting friendly shadows while Christmas music played softly in the background. Since Christmas wasn't much of a tradition of Seireitei, Rukia wondered who had supplied the music.

"That explains why Yachiru was asking for a list of popular Christmas songs from my world." Ichigo muttered under his breath.

"Oi, Ichigo! Where the hell 'ya been? Get over here and get yourself some sake! You too, Rukia!" By the boisterous sound of his voice, Renji had already had a sake or two himself.

Ichigo patted Rukia on the back as he left her side to join Renji, Yumichika, and Ikkaku on the other side of the room, all of whom were in similar casual dress. She noted that Renji must have had someone with more taste pick out his clothes for the evening: jeans slightly looser than the pair Ichigo was wearing and a dark crimson colored button up shirt. He'd purposely left the top two buttons undone and the shirt untucked. His hair, as always, was pulled high in a pony tail and a bandana was wrapped securely around his forehead, keeping any wayward locks at bay. All things considered, she had to admit he looked pretty sleek lounging on the couch there with his friends. He looked carefree and relaxed; Rukia didn't know how long it'd been since she'd seen him look that way. She couldn't ignore the slight ache in her heart, wondering what could have been.

He chose that exact moment to look back over at Rukia and caught her staring. He raised his glass of sake at her in acknowledgement and flashed her a huge grin. He patted the space next to him on the couch indicating that there was plenty of room for her to squeeze in between himself and Yumichika. Rukia couldn't help by smile back and waved lamely at him. She was just about to head over and see what the boys were talking about when a small, pink ball of excitement jumped onto her back. Childlike arms wrapped around her neck in a hug and her cheek was assaulted with exuberant kisses.

"Rukia, you made it! You've got to come to the kitchen! Rangiku and Ken-chan are doing shots of sake! I've never seen Ken-chan act so silly! He keeps asking for Ichi-chan! I think he wants to fight!" All of this came out in a one excited breath as Yachiru prattled on about the drunken goings-on of the party.

Rukia felt a little overwhelmed but had to admit it looked to be a fun night. Just then she noticed the two men sitting together and having a quite conversation on the futon to her right. Her eyes locked with Kaien's as he chatted idly with Ukitake. He smiled at her, his happiness at seeing her obvious. Rukia's heart sang at the beautiful expression on his face; she knew it was mirrored by her own.

"Ran-gi-ku!" The loud shout came from the kitchen distracting Yachiru from her one-sided conversation with Rukia. She jumped down excitedly and ran in the direction of Kenpachi's raised voice to see what all the commotion was about.

Before the raven haired Shinigami could make a move to get herself a drink and join one of the groups standing around the spacious living room, Kaien excused himself from his conversation with Ukitake and joined her by the door. She searched her memory but could not think of a time when she had seen Kaien in anything but his Shinigami uniform. He looked very nice in loose fitting jeans and black t-shirt. _What is it with guys and tight fitting shirts? Although...it does show off his muscles nicely. I wonder what it would feel like to run my hands over his chest...._ With that thought Rukia's cheeks heated and she had to look away momentarily, steadying her breathing. She had admired Ichigo and Renji's appearances already tonight but looking at Kaien was different....looking at him made her feel very differently than when she looked at Ichigo or Renji.

Kaien raised a hand and gently fingered the pendants that hung around her neck, a smile forming on his beautiful lips.

"You're wearing it..."

"Of course I'm wearing it, baka." She cursed at him affectionately, unable to meet his eyes. "It's...beautiful. I didn't get to tell you earlier, but I love it." She wanted to thank him, too, for the poem but could not get up the courage to mention it just yet. _Baby steps_, she told herself.

"Thank you, Rukia-chan." It was the first time he'd ever used such an honorific when addressing her and it caused the blush on her cheeks to deepen. He reached out tentatively and trailed his fingertips along Rukia's open palm. She instinctively closed her fingers around his. "You look beautiful."

"Oy! Rukia and Kaien are standing under the mistletoe! That means they have to kiss!" It was a drunken Yumichika shouting from his seat next to Renji. Rukia looked up, flustered, and saw that it was true; she and Kaien were indeed standing beneath a branch of mistletoe. Yumichika howled with laughter and Ikkaku joined in rambunctiously.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss!"

The chant was picked up by others in the room who did not know all that had transpired in Kukaku's hut that day so many months ago. Even Yachiru and Rangiku stumbled out of the kitchen, squealing with excitement to watch the spectacle.

Renji and Ichigo exchanged an awkward glance. Renji brought his arm forward and then back in one swift movement, jabbing his elbow sharply into Yumichika's stomach, cutting off his chant. Yumichika threw Renji a wounded look before quickly recovering.

"Ahhh Renji's jealous!" He squealed in delight, throwing his arms around Ikkaku in a fit of laughter.

"Would you shut yer drunken mouth you ass?" Renji gave Yumichika a look of daggers which finally shut him up. However, the damage was done and several people were still chanting and looking at Rukia and Kaien expecantly.

Kaien looked down at Rukia apologetically, not knowing what to do. It seemed the only way to get everyone to shut up would be for them to kiss. Not that Rukia minded, but this wasn't how she pictured her first real kiss with Kaien.

At that moment, a very drunk Kenpachi stumbled out of the kitchen apparently looking for a fight. He pointed at Ichigo and let out a howl that was somewhere between a shriek and a laugh. The bells in his hair jingling in a very menacing fashion.

"Ichigo! There you are! It's time we finished what we started! Get ready!"

Kenpachi prepared to leap towards Ichigo and said substitute-Shinigami jumped to his feet, readying himself for the attack. Rukia silently noticed that even Kenpachi had obeyed the dress code for the evening.

As several people jumped up to restrain the feisty taicho, Kaien saw his chance. He tightened his grip on Rukia's hand and pulled her out the front door, closing it gently behind them.

"That was close." His eyes were alive with excitement and there was a mischievous air about him. "I have something I want to show you, Rukia."

He led her around to the back of the mansion and along a path that led into the woods. It was a beautiful winter night; chilly but not cold. It had not snowed at all since the phenomenon earlier that day. The moon shone brightly overhead, lighting their way. Rukia did not miss the fact that Kaien still held her hand, their fingers now intertwined. After a few minutes of walking hand-in-hand they came to a clearing that Rukia knew well. She often came out here to train with her zanpakuto or if she wanted to be alone to think. She suddenly felt somewhat nervous. She and Kaien were finally alone.

Without saying a word, Kaien pulled out his zanpakuto, surprising Rukia. She hadn't even known he'd brought it with him. Seeing her surprised look, the tall Shinigami smiled.

"I grabbed it as we were leaving. I have something I've been wanting to show you."

Stepping into the clearing, Kaien raised the blade and spoke his next words deliberately.

"_Suiten sakamake_!" Nejibana instantly transformed into it's shikai form. The trident staff was as beautiful as Rukia remembered it to be, the brilliant blue horsehair tassel waving gently in the breeze. She drew a breath at the site of it; it was so familiar and yet she felt as if she was seeing it for the first time again. She met Kaien's eyes questioningly, wondering why he'd chosen to bring her out here to show her this. His eyes sparkled as he focused his attention back on Nejibana.

"_Fenikkusu jōshō to tatakau_!" With those unfamiliar words Nejibana quivered in the moonlight. For a moment, nothing happened; Rukia held her breath wondering what she was waiting for. Then, in a brilliant flash of blue light, it happened: Nejibana once again transformed, this time into a form Rukia had never before seen: it grew and spread until it looked like a large, sleek blue bird. It's blue feathered wings spread out over their heads and in place of the trident was the head of a phoenix. The end of the sword, which extended past Kaien's grip, was now the graceful tail of the phoenix which replaced the sharp spear of his shikai.

Rukia's violet eyes widened as she understood what she was seeing. "Kaien...is that...?"

"It's my bankai." He stated proudly. He then added, "I didn't want to yell 'bankai' because I wanted you to be surprised. So I learned another way to call it out." When Rukia remained speechless, Kaien's smile faltered a little bit. "Well? What do you think?" He asked quietly.

"It's beautiful." She replied just as quietly. At that moment, she noticed the snow falling gently around them. Rukia looked up and saw it was coming from the giant phoenix above their heads. She turned her palms upright and caught some of the falling crystals, examining the delicate shapes. She looked back, mystified, at Kaien.

"I've been training ever since I got back." He raised his free hand self-consciously to the back of her neck and scratched aimlessly. "I don't know why, but I felt like this was something I had to learn." They stood and simply looked at each other for what felt like an eternity, but couldn't have been more than a few minutes. Rukia was surprised at how quickly the snowfall from Kaien's bankai accumulated and how far it reached.

Their moment was interrupted by the shrieks of delight coming from back towards the house. Dozens of drunk and tipsy Shinigami had apparently noticed the mysterious snowfall and had moved the party outside to engage in what Ichigo had taught her about earlier that day: snow play. With a subtle flick of his wrist, Kaien called Nejibana back to it's original form. Shivering slightly from the snow-induced chill, Rukia reached out and took Kaien's hand.

"Let's go back inside now."

She silently led the way back up to the house where they were able to slip in unnoticed through the back door. She noticed Ichigo and Kenpachi engaged in a vicious yet somehow playful snow-ball fight. Ichigo seemed to have the upper hand for the moment. She smiled. It was nice to see that Kenpachi hadn't made good on his threat to fight Ichigo to the death...at least not yet.

They made their way through the now-quiet house. She pulled Kaien into her room and carefully closed the door behind her, making sure to engage the lock. It seemed privacy had a way of not being respected in this house. They sat down on her bed, side-by-side, close to one another without quite touching. The nervous tension in the room was palpable.

It was Rukia who finally broke the silence.

"Does anyone else know about your bankai?"

"No. I wanted you to be the first to see it."

She sat in thought for a moment.

"Are you planning on telling anyone?"

Kaien sighed deeply before responding. "I don't know. I mean, I know that I should....I know that I should. It's just that..."

"They'll want to make you a captain." She finished his sentence for him. Although probably one of the strongest Shinigami she knew, Kaien was also the most modest. He had hesitated for years before finally accepting the position of fukutaicho for the 13th Division. He wasn't ready to accept the responsibilities of being a taicho. Rukia herself had mixed feelings regarding Kaien becoming a division captain. She knew he would make a great captain for one of the leaderless divisions, but that would mean he would no longer be her fukutaicho.

She looked over and saw within him a mix of confusion, hesitancy, and sadness. She didn't want Kaien to hurt anymore. Slowly, she reached over and took his hand in her own. She pulled it onto her lap, turned it palm up and began tracing small patterns on his skin. After a few minutes of this, Rukia sensed that Kaien's body was starting to relax.

"Stand up." She said, suddenly. Confused, Kaien obeyed. He looked down at the small Shinigami. She spread her legs slightly and indicated for him to sit on the floor in front of her. When he blushed and looked away, Rukia clarified.

"Sit with your back to me. I'll massage your shoulders; you're too tense." Her cheeks were once again hot, this time with embarassment over whatever Kaien had thought she meant. She couldn't tell if the look on Kaien's face was one of relief or disappointment, but he turned around and complied with her request, relaxing his back against the side of the bed.

She began to rub his shoulders, using just the right amount of pressure to work out some of the kinks. She felt satisfaction each time she felt one 'pop' and heard Kaien sigh. She applied pressure on his neck, massaging the tired muscles there. Urging him to lean forward slightly, she was able to run her hands down the length of his back, spending some time kneading his lower back with the heels of her palms. His breathing was deepening and slowing down now; Rukia could feel his tension melting away as he relaxed his back against the bed again.

She let her hands travel back up to the nape of his neck and her fingers began to idly play with the hair there, entwining themselves in the dark, spiky mass. She massaged his scalp gently, using her nails lightly here and there. He sighed with pleasure, leaning his head back into her hands.

"It's been a long time since anyone's touched me like this." He murmured as her hands trailed back down his neck to rest on his shoulders. The seductive tone his voice had taken on stirred something inside Rukia, awoke desires she couldn't recall ever having felt so intensely before.

"Kaien..."

He turned around to face her, kneeling before her. He took her hands in his and kissed both of her palms so lightly that she almost didn't feel the gentle touch. Looking up, intense aqua eyes met nervous and excited violet ones. Slowly, he reached up and cupped the side of her face with his hand, using his thumb to brush her bang out of her eyes. Because he was so much taller than her, this position put them practically face to face, with Kaien actually slightly looking down at her. Carefully examining those violet eyes, Kaien, for the first time, saw no hint of hesitation. He leaned forward, closing the short distance between them, and sealed his lips over hers.

Rukia let her eyes fall closed and, for a moment, simply relished in the feel of Kaien's lips against her own. Although they had kissed briefly earlier that day, this was completely different. Earlier, their lips had barely brushed together before Kaien pulled away. Now, he had his lips firmly pressed to hers with no intention of breaking the contact. His other hand had come up to cup her other cheek and he held her face to his.

Instead of pulling away from her, Kaien deepened this kiss, his tongue reaching out tentatively to run along her lower lip. Rukia didn't hesitate to part her lips for him, allowing his tongue to explore the cavern of her mouth, swirling around her own tongue encouragingly. She responded to his invitation, in turn exploring the heat of his mouth. Her arms came up to encircle his waist, pulling him even closer to her, her chest pressing against him, her legs coming up to squeeze his hips. She loved the feel of him against her, she wanted more. The excitement was quickly building within her. She allowed her hands to roam down his back, to the hem of his shirt. Without realizing what she was doing, she began to tug at the hem of the shirt, wanting nothing more than to get it off of him.

Kaien was the one to break off the kiss. Breathing heavily, he rested his forehead against hers. She hadn't even noticed that her breathing had increased as well and matched his. She brought her hands up and caressed his face, running them back through his hair. Now that she had started touching him she couldn't stop, didn't want to. She pulled him to her and kissed him again. He responded instantly, his hands moving down to her hips to hold her more tightly against him.

This was nothing like the times she and Renji had kissed. She had thought she'd known passion on those few occasions; she'd been wrong. Although she and Renji had done little beyond a few hot and heavy make out sessions with some over-the-clothes petting, she could already tell that no matter what they had done, it would never rival what she was feeling with Kaien. Nothing ever would.

As they kissed, Kaien's hand wandered down her thigh, past the hem of her dress and lingered there. The feel of his hand on her bare skin left her tingling pleasantly. He began to slid his hand up again, this time staying under the material of her dress, to rest on her bare hip. Rukia moaned in pleasure as she tried in vain to scoot even closer to him, wishing he would lean forward a little and put pressure in just the right place.

He did lean forward then, forcing her back. As he did this, he brought his free hand down to her knee and raised it up slightly so that it circled his waist. She knew the hem of her dress was pushed up wantonly but she didn't care. If she had it her way, she would have the pesky thing off and on the floor, along with his shirt and some other articles of, in her opinion, unncessary clothing. Following that train of thought, she once again reached down to the hem of his shirt, making her intentions clear. Rukia could feel him smile against her lips as he acquiesced to her silent demand, shifting his position so that she could pull the shirt over his head and off, tossing it to the floor where it was immediately forgotten.

As she began running her hands over his bare chest, he moaned into her mouth. She traced over the smooth planes of his stomach, the hard definition of his muscles exciting her even more. She grazed her palms over his nipples and felt his sharp intake of breath. She smiled to herself, making a mental note of that reaction.

"Rukia..."

Her body wanted more. She didn't necessarily know exactly what it wanted, but it told her what she needed to do. Pulling away from the kiss, Rukia scooted back, repositioning herself in proper orientation on the bed, her head laying on the pillow. Kaien looked at her, not sure what he should do. She raised herself up on one elbow and smiled at him invitingly. He slowly got up and joined her on the bed, lying down on his side next to her.

Their lips once again found each other and their tongues came together in a passionate dance. Rukia put her arms around Kaien and held him close to her. She understood in that moment that this was closer to what her body was yearning for: uninhibited contact with Kaien's body. There was still the barrier of clothing, but there was no need to rush things.

As their kiss deepened and her hands had once again taken up exploring Kaien's shirtless form, Rukia became aware of Kaien's hard length pressing against her. Although it was impeded by the offending pair of jeans, the extent of his desire was becoming quite obvious. Rukia moaned his name, pressing herself against him. Kaien groaned, once again pulling her leg up so it was wrapped around his hips. He held her hips steady and ground against her. Rukia turned her face into her pillow to stifle her cry of pleasure. She'd never felt anything so intense before and she wanted to feel it again. She pushed her hips forward experimentally. Kaien responded instantly, matching her movements and pace.

Rukia reached between them and tugged at the button of Kaien's jeans, hoping he'd get the hint and help her. He stilled, breathing heavily. Both of their chests were heaving and a fine sheen of sweat was covering his.

"_Mate_, Rukia."

"What is it, Kaien?"

"Are you okay with this? Don't you think we're going a little fast?"

"Kaien, I've waited years for you. Hundreds of years. I think if anything we've taken this excruciatingly slowly. I'm done waiting. I'm done making you wait." She smiled beautifully at him, erasing any doubt that may have lingered in his mind as to their current pace.

His decision made, Kaien allowed Rukia to push him onto his back. She placed a leg on either side of his legs, straddling him. His breath caught looking at her; he marveled at her beauty and at her resolve. Just this morning she had seemed so confused, so hesitant. There was no hint of either emotion in her eyes now. What he did see in those beautiful violet eyes was playfulness, determination, and love. She reached down and undid the button on his jeans, slowly pulling the zipper down. As she began to tug them off, he raised his hips to help her. In a matter of seconds, he was laid out in front of her, only a pair of boxers covering him.

"This doesn't seem entirely fair." He said, tugging at the hem of her dress to show his disapproval.

She frowned, pondering the situation.

"You're right." She crossed her arms in front of her and, in one swift yet seductively slow motion, pulled the dress over her head and discarded it on the floor with the other bits of clothing. For the first time in several long minutes, a deep scarlet rose to her cheeks. She had been so confident and now, suddenly, felt so self-conscious once again. No one had ever seen her in this state of undress before. Not even Renji. Beneath her dress she wore a lavender satin bra and matching underwear set. It was the epitome of Rukia: simple yet elegant.

"Rukia, you are so beautiful." Kaien sat up and placed his palms on Rukia's back, pulling her forward into a kiss that started out tender but quickly intensified. In this new position, their bodies came together in way that made Rukia gasp against Kaien's mouth. His stiff member was pressed against her most intimate region. Her body instinctively responded, grinding against his desire. She shuddered in pleasure at the sensation.

Just as Kaien's hands found the clasp of her bra, there came a sharp knock on her bedroom door. From outside came the emotionless voice of her brother.

"Rukia. The party is over. All guests need to leave. Now."

Although he didn't sound particularly angry or suspicious, he certainly did not sound happy. But, then again, he never did.

Rukia and Kaien sat in silence for several moments, their foreheads resting against one another's, using the opportunity to calm their breathing.

She smiled apologetically at him as she scooped their clothing from the floor and began to redress. She'd never been this hot and bothered in her entire existence and frustration was coursing hotly through her blood. She could see that Kaien was feeling the same way.

Rukia walked with Kaien to the front door and stood with him on the porch beneath the moonlight. She was surprised to see that the party had already been cleaned up and nearly everyone was gone. The exception being Yumichika and Ikkaku who had their arms drunkenly slung around each other's shoulders and were walking across the yard singing some unrecognizable song off key. They were most likely off to find whatever bar might be open at this hour to continue their carousing.

Kaien smiled down at Rukia and placed a chastise kiss upon her slightly swollen lips before turning to leave.

"_Mate_, Kaien! When will I see you again?"

He turned back to look at her again, his face lighting up brilliantly.

"How about tomorrow? Why don't you come over and I'll make you lunch?"

Her heart jumped at how gorgeous his smile was, especially when he looked so disheveled. And especially when she knew that she, herself, was the cause of that dishevelment.


	7. Unexpected Developments

Hey-oh!  
FINALLY an update! Last quarter of school was ridiculous! So I managed to squeeze this in today. I know it's insanely short...it's meant as an interlude of sorts. WARNING: I know the general outline of what I want to happen with this story. Some of the events may make some people mad and for that I apologize. But a story isn't a story without some sort of twist. It can't be all unicorns and rainbows (as much as I'd like!) all the time. You can't truly appreciate a couple's love unless it's had to endure some hardships along the way. That being said, it's time for our lovers to deal with some things other than raging hormones!  
I hope to update this again in June. Seriously, though, don't panic if I don't. My P4 rotations start July 1st and I will be intensely busy once that time comes.  
No explanations or warnings needed for this chapter, I believe. Enjoy!  
**********************************************************

There was a definite spring in his step as he crossed the open fields to his home. He was taking the long way on purpose, enjoying the slight chill the night air had taken on. Tilting his head back, the tall Shinigami let the moonlight wash over his face, looking at the brilliant stars above. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt content. Better than content - he was happy beyond anything he could have ever imagined. He couldn't stop the grin that broke across his face as he thought of her. Her dark hair that was always endearingly falling across her face. The grace and elegance with which her every move was infused. Intense violet eyes, alive sometimes with mischief and other times with thoughtfulness but always with a deep sincerity. Her lips, swollen after their painfully short tryst.

His thoughts wandered then, going back to the events of the evening. Everything had been perfect. More than perfect. Her soft lips had set his body on fire; the feel of her skin against his had driven him beyond his senses. Never in all his life had he felt such passion...such intensity. There were no words adequate enough to describe it. He was hooked, pure and simple. And he didn't want it any other way.

The last several months had been difficult, excruciating even. He knew she'd been avoiding him and it had been like a knife to his heart. At the time he hadn't understood it; he wasn't sure he fully understood it even now. However, it no longer mattered; she'd found her resolve. Nothing would keep them apart now.

He knew he would have to make a decision soon regarding his newfound bankai. His hesitance stemmed from the knowledge that, once he revealed his secret, he would undoubtedly face pressure to take on the title of Taicho. After all, the third, fifth, and ninth divisions remained leaderless. It would be his duty to step up and take command of one of the three divisions. Although it would be an honor, he didn't know if it was a responsibility he was ready to accept. Not only that, but it would take him away from the 13th division. Which would mean he'd be taken away from her. His stomach twisted at the thought of being separated from her. Although he knew she was fully capable of protecting herself, he liked being by her side in battle nonetheless.

Sighing deeply, he lifted his head and was surprised to see that he'd arrived at his house already. There was a light on inside and soft tendrils of smoke curled gently out of the chimney. He was sure he'd left the house dark with no fire going. Through the thin, gauzy curtains covering the window he thought he could just make out the silhouette of a person moving about within. The hairs on the back of his neck and arms rose as a cold wind gusted across the yard ominously.

He made his way slowly up the path that led to the porch. Cautiously, he walked up the three steps and stood silently in front of the door, his hand resting on Nejibana's hilt. Steeling himself for whatever was waiting inside, he drew his zanpakuto and held it ready at his side. Before he could even reach out, the door swung open. Instantly, he was overcome with the smell of sweet tea and a hint of lavender. Nejibana clattered nosily to the ground beside him as the tall Shinigami fell to his knees.  
*********************************************************************************************************************

She'd barely slept all night. Her stomach was alive with a thousand butterflies and her mind wouldn't stop racing. All she could think about was _him_. Now that she'd finally acknowledged and fully embraced her feelings, she felt as if her heart might burst. It was all so overwhelming; she'd never felt anything like this before. Their separation while she'd been avoiding him in the past months had been difficult but now his absence from her was truly painful. She wanted nothing more than to be in his embrace, to feel his lips on her skin, his hands exploring her body.

Her heart fluttered again at the memory of their time together just hours before. He'd invited her over to his home for lunch and her cheeks burned at the thought of being alone with him, truly alone, for the first time. Finally, they would not have to worry about the constant interruptions. She quickened her pace, glad none of her friends were around to feel the wanton undertone with which her reiatsu had undoubtedly become infused.

As she approached the Shiba manor she noticed a barely perceptible change in the air; it was something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Standing at the foot of the path, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, calming her nerves. The house was beautiful: soft lights glowed inside and smoke billowed gently from the chimney. She could hear the quiet sound of china clinking inside and smiled at the image of her tall, handsome Shinigami carefully setting out tea-cups and saucers for her. The smell of miso soup reached her and made her stomach growl. She took another deep breath and headed up the path towards the house.

She stood in front of the door for a moment before knocking, trying to slow her racing heart. In that moment, she thought she heard voices inside. At the same time, the scent of lavender washed over her and she froze. _It can't be! It's not possible!_ Trembling slightly, she reached out and knocked lightly. The voices instantly quieted. She could hear the sound of soft footsteps coming closer. There was a short pause and then the door slowly opened inwards. Her violet eyes widened and her heart dropped. Facing her was not the handsome Shinigami she had expected but rather a woman. A beautiful woman with elegant features, dark hair, and violet eyes to rival her own. A woman she thought she'd never see again. A woman that now sent her soul into turmoil.

"Miyako-san..."


End file.
